Upside Down

Yet another Year

2012-01-27T11:14:00.001+08:00

If last two years, I went to Genting Highlands & on the following year I went to Penang but this time.. *drum rolls* Singapore! I think it has been a tradition that my family and I will be going somewhere during CNY break. It;s like the only holiday that could bring all of us together. Just another 3 days 2 nights short trip but honestly, I had fun. The only difference was this time, Abah couldn't tagged along because he had to go to Sri Lanka but one of my relative from mum's side decided to tag together. Nothing much issues anyway, I still had a very good time ;-)

Did all the normal things on the first day, check-in, took MRT and walked to the Singapore city. Enjoyed ourselves by looking at another sweet creature of Allah SWT. I've been to Singapore before but that was like 8 or 9 years ago and obviously I couldn't even remember a thing! So its time for me to recall all the things that I've been forgotten.

THE ICE CREAM STORE! URGHH. Ok nak emo sebab melepas this great opportunity! Along told me the ice cream tasted so gooooood but unfortunately Mak won't let me to stop & buy (not even one, cis!) because the line was tooooooo long. Hm k. Takpa. Sedih.

Shopped some souvenir for my friends, had a good walk around the city and indulged ourselves w Chicken Rice Shop as dinner. Oh my, you don't know how HARD it was to find halal food. Especially during CNY's eve. The shop mostly closed by 5pm because they had to go for their makan besar. We literally had to buy our dinner around 6pm at Chicken Rice Shop and I think that was the ONLY shop opened. But I know there were other part of Singapore were all Malays will go but we... were... tired... of... walking... sigh... Took our MRT again and walked again and walked again, and walked again back to Sentosa island. I even slept at 9pm on that night because we were too tired of walking! That was actually too early for me. Heh.

So here comes the fun part! Universal Studio on the next day! Wee!

Madagascar's family ride. Did you see the sign that stated "Present by Maybank"? Mak was quite excited to ride that thing hahaha. The ride was fun! Same goes to Shrek 4D where all the torture begins. Oh and the Underwater show where all of us wet at the end of the show. Padan muka. Kena simbah air. Uhh sadly camera's not allowed during the show. Nahhh. The Donkey Live that I thought gonna suck the whole entire day was actually turned out to be really cute! I can't get over it actually! Hahaha.

Jurassic Park & Transformers' rides were my favourite! Very recommended! The ride was incredibly awesome, I just can't deny that. Eventhough we had to line for almost 1 hour (memang rasa nak give up dah sebenarnya) but all the wait are totally worth it. No camera's allowed when we were in the rides. My advice: GO UNIVERSAL STUDIO AND EXPERIENCE IT. It's pretty hard to explain how great it was just in sentence, somehow you need to experience it by yourself.

Shopped again at Universal Studios shop where all of us were getting nuts! I feel like buying almost everything. I just hate it from seeing all the cute things in front of my eyes, I just can't help it! Anyway, it was worth it. Enough said. I can't find another word than "fun". Twas truly made my day. Of course if I had given the chance I'd go back and took the rides all over again. Who doesn't? :-)

Alhamdullilah. A perfect break from the hectic life.

Whys Whats Hows

2012-01-15T12:34:00.003+08:00

5 Omega's assistant monitor, AJK of Tanaman & Sayuran in KPA, member of Bowling Club & member of KRS. The first two weeks have been really hectic. Being a senior is not something that I asked for but Alhamdullilah, school's treating me nice so far. The first thoughts were horrible anyway, it was weird and uncomfortable and urgh, I don't know! Sometimes whenever I'm at school I wish I could turn those 4 years back where all the seniors were there. To be exact, knowing there's one to refer to, is sucks.

It's not that I have issues with the juniors but honestly, I get along better with seniors to be compared to the junior. It's like I have the chemistry between them. But time heals, I'm starting to like Form 5 now. Teachers started to put the trust on us. I just need to try. Its time for me to get along and know all my juniors too. Uh at least I don't wanna leave the school by titled as an arrogant senior. I'd like to be the senior that could be remembered for every human beings in school! I wanna be nice to everybody!

Part of it, school teachers and tuition tutors started to push on my studies. It freaked me out a lil bit that I don't have much time left. Can't stop stressing about it since everyone wants the best *sigh heavily* I try. I always pray to Allah SWT to get everything be easy, insyaAllah. :)

Inspired, it Heals

2012-01-15T12:34:00.002+08:00

Something random about me that you should know: I'd like to spent hours or whole day in a bookstore. Not really the bookworm type but I looooooove reading as much as I love food. It's like laying on the big and peaceful field, with those birds twitting, staring at blue sky, the other side where rainbows started to show up, closing both eyes and feel the peacefulness. God, reading is just something like you're inside of it. You read it and you feel it. Every words means everything. I used to consider myself being a writer someday but I know if I do I probably be the sucks one. I'm not good enough at translating the feelings even in one word.

By the way, I had a sister-and-sister date with my oldest sister last Sunday. It's been awhile! We used to hangout (most of the time with all my siblings) but things are getting different over here. All my siblings already started with their job, I'm the only one left in high school and you got what I mean, from "always" to "seldom". I'll be the biggest liar ever if I say I didn't miss all that. So everytime I got the opportunity to go out with one of them, I'll appreciate every minute of it.

So Along brought me to Publika. I've been there couple of times before, there were just hundreds of office buildings and renovation here and there. But this time, everything went different! They are quite a lot of shops are finally opened to be compared to before, it feels like so Bangsar-ish. It was obviously nice! We wanted to try the home-made ice cream at B.I.G Ben's Independent Grocer but unfortunately it was closed by the time we finished our dinner *crying* I swear the ice cream looks so inviting!

Went for a walk around there. I don't know what elements that the buildings had thrown but I'm just sooo in love with it. It's like love at the first sight. There were like Arts everywhere (and you don't know how much I love arts). The waiting chairs, the shops and the walls too! They were drawings on the wall where you can literally bring your crayons/sharpie and freaking DRAW OR WRITE ANYTHING ON IT. Nope I'm not kidding! It's like everyone's Arts after all. I looove it!

I'm so upset I didn't brought my camera together but still thankful Blackberry's battery is being nice that night. Here's something amazing that I'd like to share:

Ignore the qualities please. Up there you see are actually the FLOOR TILES. There were like hundreds of quotes floor tiles. Jalan-jalan mesti jumpa! Ya Allah I just don't know how to say this but this is absolute brilliant idea I could never think of. Its like whenever you feel tired from work or depressed, or even wehn you're broken-hearted, you walk there, look down and you feel inspired. You feel like nothing or no one could feel the same as much as the words do.

It's a place that everyone must to go. I'd like to bring Hazeeq or my bestfriend there once they're fully open but I'm afraid by the time its open the place would get really crowded. Well, its like that I didn't get used to it? I just need to go there again someday, totally a night made. I thank Allah and my sister (of course) for bringing me there. Now I know where to find my own serenity :)

Another new Begin

2012-01-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

I can't tell you how many times (or years) I've been wondering, waiting & imagining myself being a senior in future. Now, the time has arrive. Less than 12 hours I'm going to enter the school area and being called as a senior. Senior year = last year = graduation = SPM. Yucks! Part of me I just feel old and not so ready for this but another half, very looking for it. It's going to be my last year in high school, I've been putting in my mind that I'm going to make it the best of the years. InsyaAllah. I believe things like this always come one in a million times! Welcome back to school to those who are still schooling! Let's enjoy our new begin tomorrow. Bismillah..

New begin

2012-01-03T03:37:00.001+08:00

3:04am. Time like this, I wish you were there giving me the usual virtual hugs messages and telling me everything was alright. Advising me to be more open minded, telling me all those people were just jealous and calming me by who I wanna be: a stonger woman in future. Part of it, eventhough with that little lies you did tricken me by words, it actually made myself more lighten. I’m still glad things came back as how I knew it will happened someday.

Anyway, here’s the moment of the truth, my New Year Eve went bad, as in, really bad. By you mean having BBQ with friends, staring at the skies, for the clock to turn to 12 midnight and fireworks to show up? Well, that was so last year. I’m not into that mood pun, not even close. Yes I had another BBQ too this year but it was far from what I ever imagined. It was just an okay. Other than that, I’ve been busy recovering myself from those sadness.

So 2012 it is. I’ve been planning to do some 2011 recaps but something clicked me that no one will bother if that’s what I’m planning to. There are only two words that suitable to be define how 2011 treated me, they are unforgettable & indescribable.

Meeting new cool friends, had (and still having) a wonderful classmates, short trip to Penang with family, those first-time activities: kena gigit pacat, jungle trekking, walking through 5km jabatan gantung, riding boat, camping, feeding elephants, oh those memorable outing with friends, birthday surprises, won for the 3rd place in drama competition, engineering drawing tuitions (god. the best tuition buddies ever), open houses and ... uhhh no body even cares, it was everything ♥ ♥

I think most of importantly, those people who willingly (and I thank Allah for this) to come my life & make it a lot brighter than ever. You know who you are, I really appreciated every single of you. Especially to the damn haters who made my life even stronger than ever and the other part of it, those who cares to listen all my silly craps :”) There are jail doors in my heart putting guys in there.

Last year, I always hold on the phrase “Mind over matter”. If you want it to be wonderful year, you just have to believe it IS and make it how you want it to be. Take all the bloody opportunity, skipped the regrets and move on. Don’t ever live in past. I really made it so insyaallah I'm gonna hold on with this phrase forever. Alhamdullilah.

No Word

2011-12-29T20:06:00.002+08:00

Truthfully, as much as I love this year, actually I'm hating it too. Like at this random time, being emotionally unstable and major breakdown are the only thing I could describe about myself. Too sad to tell, too hard to even type all these letters in a sentence. Life's up and down and I guess I'm now at the lowest phrase. Nothing I could ever do rather than keeping it to myself. The biggest challenge of the perfect ending of 2011 is, I'm walking by own. Seems like I have to depend to self on cheering, sharing, crying and who knows, might be laughing too. Because no one could know me better than myself.

The most hurting words were, he said I could live by my own, she said we've nothing left to do together. He might be right, she might be right too. I'm leaving both of the most precious human in my entire life. It was terrifying I must say. Practically it was easy to leave but don't you ever think replacing works that way too. Because honestly, nobody could ever be replaced. No one will. Even if it do, that doesn't call a replacement. Or whatever you call it, I just don't care. Replace means change the old to the new one WITHOUT changing anything inside. Mana la ada orang yang sama perangai kan? Mana la ada orang yang sama permikiran kan? Belum lagi muka, lagi la takda.

It wasn't his fault, neither hers. There's no blame put to him, to her too. Instead, it was mine. I was being naive all these while. If I had given the chance to know where I've been wrong, surely I'm taking the chance but how funny things had happened just in a blink of an eye. Humans tired of giving chances. He was tired, she too, not about the chances, but every single thing about me. Me. Me. I am the problem. There's no word than apologizes. If these are what I deserved for hurting them, I accepted with all my heart. Hope forgiveness follows with them.

"Kalau sayang tak maksudnya kita kena bersama". One of the last words he said that made me into tears. Things had happened, I couldn't asked more. I couldn't tell how many apologize I had asked. You'll be always in my prayers. Sedangkan Allah boleh temukan Adam & Hawa beribu batu, beribu tahun.... so why not la kan?

I'm walking, jap, tak mampu. I'm crawling by my own. Now.
Kuatkan semangat ya Allah beratnya la alahai rasa dugaan sekarang ni.

Message in The Bottle

2011-12-27T17:17:00.000+08:00

Celebrated my second and third sisters' birthday at Sheraton Imperial Hotel, KL last Sunday. Can't exactly remember when's the last time but after so long, we finally had chinese food! It was nice, tasty and lovely. Went to Pavilion after that to accompany Along to do some shopping. The end year sale went crazy. A lot of people were there. I get dizzy so easy when a place got packed. Been looking a novel One day by David Nicholls but the akak bookstore said it was sold out. How fast everyone knows about it?! It was one of the movie-novel, the movie's out next year. So before the movie coming out, I'm planning to read it but unfortunately everyone clearly knows about that.

Still looking the novel though, not going to give up. Scored myself a novel from Nicholas Sparks. If you watch the movie The Notebook or A Walk To Remember, of course you're familiar with this name. One of the author that gonna make you literally cry when you read the piece of his. Message in A Bottle is actually an old published but while looking for the novel I wanted so much, why not giving a try right? I read some of the feedbacks at the back "This one may be even better (than) his bestselling novel The Notebook" --St. Louis Post-Dispatch. I'm half way through, I really hope it is a good story.

In time, it is Scoliosis

2011-12-27T16:54:00.000+08:00

Had a terrible cramps around my back for the few days but Alhamdullilah, slowly and slowly the pains are fading away. Getting used to it. Talking about backache, I believe some of you still haven't aware about scoliosis. Scoliosis is actually a curving of the spine. It's either the spine curves from middle or sideways. Or in short (and not in scientific words that might killed your eyes reading) scoliosis is actually penyakit tulang belakang bengkok. Ha easier right hahaha. Unfortunately I'm one of those unlucky patient.

Nothing much I could say anyway, the first time I know, I just knew. It somehow clicked to mind that I'm having scoliosis. It's kind of instinct. And the second thing I knew, I've been losing my weight and that explains a lot and clearly shows that I'm having a really bad body posture. Adding up that my second sister, Angah also had scoliosis surgery few years back so honestly, I'm not that surprised.

Not sure if it was a genetic thingy but surely this is one of the test that He had given to me. Get my medical check-up few months later (which was on August by the way). I know you probably wondering why I've been hiding these before but maybe now it's time for you to know. :)

The progress took the whole entire day. It was my first time for being xray-ed and feelings were INDESCRIBABLE. Dah la the nurse who had to take in charge of me is a guy. Yes a guy nurse. Wah! Malu tu memang malu then the moment he said "Bukak baju, bukak jam, bukak seluar, bukak bra...." tu memang takleh nak cakap apa. I was scared to death! The feelings were a lot scarier when we had to wait the xray being printed and wondering how my spine looks like. So here comes the scariest part, the moment when doctor Malik took the xray out from the envelope. Put the xray on his digital radiography or whatever it called la. It's a thing like whiteboard to read the xrays. He took something like geometry set or something and draw lines on it and wrote 32 degrees.

That's how the xrays looks like. Then me and my mum were waiting for doctor Malik's response. Tunggu punya tunggu, adoi lambat benor doctor ni pandang xray tu and draw the lines. Then he finally response ... *drum rolls* He responded by saying that there's no surgery going to take because it was only 32 degrees curve. The exact thing is, the surgery only take once the curve turned to 45 degrees. Which that explains why my sister had operation before bcus hers were 45 degrees. Can you guys actually imagine how 45 degrees curve spine looks like?! No right? This one pun baru 32 degree dah bengkok macam ni, 45 bengkok macam mana la kan? Hahaha neither me.

Alhamdullilah, syukur. As much as I wanted to know how I've been treated in hospital but deep inside, I honestly don't want to do anything with surgery or hospital. In fact, scoliosis surgery, treatment and recover time is taking almost 3 months. I couldn't explain how pain it was too see my sister suffering from the surgery before. It was painful. She couldn't walk and stuff.

Eventhough it was nothing, I still have to admit that am still having that very uneasy feelings. My heart still having the same nervous the moment I had being x-rayed. I still need to do medical check-up for at least once in 6 months, just in case my spine are going to curve for 45 degrees? Who knows right. 32 is not far than 45. Anything could really happened. Seeking your help to pray all the best for me. InsyaAllah maybe with your prays, follows with mine, things wouldn't be that bad.

F is the Word

2011-12-20T20:33:00.001+08:00

Salam.

This is just another frustration post of myself that might kill yourself, you can chose rather to have fun reading or leaving. My mind is about to explode thinking about how stress my current situation is. I believe it won't stay any longer, but anyhow it is perhaps getting worse sooner. I just came back from buying school stuff. Yep, for the last time. Knowing the fact that there's a lot of things to buy, and the increasing market price, I kind of feel I'm actually.. a spoilt brat. No, really.

Two full sets of school uniform, 3 tudung, 2 shoes, scarfs. Not included the books and TUITION FEES. I just calculated the total of my tuition fees in a month ... dude, macam boleh beli iphone sebijik. Dalam setahun, ha boleh dapat 12 bijik iphone. Ambik kau. Then I have to deal with driving license fees, university fees, laptop and and all those needed things. Honestly, I just feel this is something that over limit. I am still surprised (and finally realized) that my parents willing to sacrifice. Only me. It made me feels sad lah. I feel like crying now. My parents have sacrifice a lot of things just to see that victorious in me but what I just did.. ? I wasted it.

I failed at making them happy during UPSR, so goes during PMR. No, I don't want to hear my mum says "Sebenarnya boleh je score lagi tu" and that silent response from my dad. No, I don't want to face that thing again. I just want to see the smile and their proud-ness. SPM is sort of my last chance.

Oh and just now, I just found out that one of my Malay novel's not coming out in SPM 2012 syllabus and I'm deadly feel like a shit. I'm so frustrated of what the gov's doing. Change English to Malay, then change the syllabus. Have they ever think not to waste the money or even worse, in my case, I spend almost two weeks to finish up that thick novel and it is not coming out. Frustrating isn't it?

I stressed up. I messed up. Tolong ya Allah, I really hope all of these are totally worth it. Tolonglah make it easy for me. I don't know how to reply them dah. I'm just lost in the junction.

Marathon, He-ya!

2011-12-19T00:41:00.000+08:00

Quality times with my old friends Khairina, Ajmal and Meor yesterday. It was like our first time hangout ever after 6 years being friends. Well, it's only me being left in high school actually, while the rest are in boarding school. We rarely met each other. Ada la few times in these 4 years but the I still can count by my fingers how "rarely" is that. Less than 3 times in a year I think, so jarang.

I swear it was pretty awkward at starting. It's like all the questions in my mind suddenly gone just in minute! I knew all of us were trying so hard to keep the conversation alive. Asking about school stuff, future and so on. Anyway, it didn't work. Hahahaha but it turned out to be good la at the end, I had fun having movie marathon with them. Alvin & the Chipmunks 3 and New Year's Eve.

Felt so good that I could catch up things. I also have made up my mind. I feel like doing this more often, you know, contact all my old friends and have fun. Because you know, I cannot depends on my current friends je. Someday, they might just leave. AND somebody told me that I'm bad at socializing, which is kind of true. Most of the time I chose to sleep/alone rather than having new experience. (Adding up this as 2012 resolutions!)

Alhamdullilah. Another +1 memories :)

Amazing night, It is

2011-12-17T02:11:00.000+08:00

Iman Athirah, neighbour and always a good friend of mine. We used to be really close before though (in primary school) but she decided to choose boarding school in 2008, where all of us in Form 1. I still can remember those times. I was so mad at her and questioning every minute why on earth she accepted the offer but back then, look who she is now. Deep down, I honestly think she made a great decision.

School break is the only way all of us could gather and catch up things. So, Iman decided to do steamboat gathering at her house yesterday. It's more to primary friends gathering. It was truly nice gathering and I had so much fun eventhough most of them couldn't make it :( Something about that night made me feel so grateful. Specially when I got to meet Bil. I haven't seen her for 4 years! She is different! You know, its like, someone you know who loves Spongebob character so much, a lil bit boy-ish inside her and the next thing you know, she's so mature and feminine. Her face's like so pretty. Everything was like CHANGED. It's not only about her, everyone is. Everyone who came on that night. Iman herself, Irwani, Khairina, Jauhar, Meor and so on.

Four years. Why time has to be flies so fast? You know, I just....... feel like crying (in a good way) that everyone's growing up and being somebody that I might see in television one day. The minute I stared at their faces, I was like "Damn. Who's this? I don't know him/her anymore". Don't get me wrong but meeting all these people made me burst into tears, how precious those time are, and how great having them when I'm in primary.

I wish I could turn them back like how they used to be. The immature us. I wanna be gedik again! (FYI saya memang gedik dulu, sekarang kurang sikit). Hahahahaha fighting over silly things, curi-curi kawan, main surat-surat, galah panjang, having crush on somebody in same age, ambik gambar dengan crush, surat admire, truth and dare, dude... sampai esok pun I couldn't finish this.

Think back again, those little things in past are actually who made all of us today :)

I even made a friend with one of their boarding school friends, Ellis. A girl in black hijab on left side. It was nice meeting her again, I've been meeting her for couple of times before. Dulu time raya pun beraya sama sama but we never really contact to each other. Surprised that she could tag along, ambik gambar pun bukan main suka posing macam kita! She finally added me at Facebook!

A good night, indeed :")

Sorpresa Sir!

2011-12-15T00:28:00.000+08:00

Salam everyone. Honestly, December has been truly a tough month for me. I actually don't mind if it has something to do with studying but nope. These are all about feelings, feelings and feelings.. I suck a lot when it comes to feelings and stuff. And goodness, its only 17 days of starting and I had to face all these, torturing days to be exact. Dugaan. No matter how long this gonna take, I just have to face it right. But anyway, let's take this case to the other side first okay?

Remember on previous post I had mentioned about my LK teacher, Cikgu AB? The most charming, cute, kind teacher I ever had in this entire ..... Eh jap. Nanti dia perasan pulak. Tengah sengih sengih la tu tengah baca ni.. Hehe. Okay back to the topic. I'm making this short, he's just someone that all of us could refer and someone that is also could be our friend on the same time. His birthday is coming up tomorrow, on 18th. Unfortunately, my classmates and I somehow are quite busy on the following week so we decided to do a surprise birthday last Wednesday. The plans were kind of last minute but we managed to pull it off, alhamdullilah.

I don't know if it was success since Cikgu doesn't made any :O reactions. You know, the reaction when you were in surprise parties. Shocked, screaming, crying and stuff. Cikgu claimed that his defence mechanism was high so nothing I could do with it. Hahahaha but he said he was so terharu back then, I really hope he's telling the truth! I'm actually kind of afraid he doesn't like or something :S

Special shout for Cikgu (which I know and I hope he's reading this): Happy Birthday, Cikgu! Semoga dipanjangkan umur and success in everything. Thank you being a great teacher. A lil bit advice from your sweet and awesome student here, Cikgu please potong rambut sikit macam dulu! Hehe!

(via Nisa Alina)

Quite sad Izat, Arif, Danial, Engku, Farah and Tasleem couldn't join us. I know it would be so much better if they could tag along. Eventhough it was seriously a short meeting but I had fun catching up few things with my classmates. I can't tell how much I miss them. More than a lot. Throughout the year, meeting them every single day, study, gaduh, cerita all together but then pop, one month tak jumpa, yes of course it was disaster then. Lega dapat lepaskan rindu :')

What are Words? (Part III)

2011-12-10T22:41:00.001+08:00

Almost a week, everyone has been talking and flooded my Twitter's timeline with Ombak Rindu's feedbacks. The movie's actually based on a novel. It is a sad movie. Everyone was telling they were crying and stuff so I didn't plan to watch it. I had enough crying last night, so I'm not into that mood actually. But then, Mak told me that my sister already bought the tickets, right after my Maths tuition ended. I'm just go with it.

The only thing I realized from the movie is (besides it is truly sad), they played the soundtrack like over and over again. Which actually made the movie even sadder and sadder... from the beginning until the end. The lyrics was so touchy and somehow quite related with my situation. Went home and tweeted my LK teacher, Cikgu AB and quickly requested him to play the song on piano. He's like my all-time fav teacher. (If you're reading this, hi Cikgu! Thank you for replying the request). Try to listen to the song and lyrics, its easier to explain what my current situation is.

“ Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia

Untuk terima ku seadanya

Kerna ku tak sanggup

Kerna ku tak mampu

Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku

Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosa ku

Hanya ingat Kamu kala duka ku

Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka

Pintu hatinya untuk cintaku

What are words? (Part II)

2011-12-09T14:28:00.001+08:00

“I miss you”

“I dah tak percaya semua tu”

Terlampau ouch. 3 words, replied with 6 hurting words. Bodoh. Kenapa aku bodoh sangat? Patut simpan je benda tu.Tak patut cakap aku rindu dia. Sekarang hati berkecai. Harapan musnah. Air mata jatuh macamair terjun. Sekarang siapa sakit? Menyesal. I really am.

But what are words. Regretting and broken hearted doesn't mean I stopped missing you. Doesn't mean I am not loving you. I am sorry. I really do.

What are words? (Part I)

2011-12-09T14:05:00.001+08:00

Woke up in the morning, saw a new message icon appeared onmy Blackberry, opened, read from top to bottom, read again, stared at the last threewords over and over again, startled for seconds, then I smiled, but teary eyes.

“ Be that back “

Can’t believe someone actually cares. Can’t imagine someone actually wants the old me. Call me freaky, call me weird, people tendto get mad when a friend said “You changed a lot, I want the old you. Be that back” but nope, I literally smiled.Eventhough the message wasn’t really the subject what I’m expressing today, but those 3 words STILL referring the old me. Deep down everyone wants the old me. Evenmyself. I realized I’ve been changing myself into somebody I don’t know. Ever heard of people changed because they were in pain?

Funny isn’t it I was quite chubby before but suddenly I turned to bevery skinny?

Funny isn’t it we were so happy but suddenly we are sad?

Funny isn’t it we felt motivated but suddenly turned to be really de-motivated?

Funny isn’t it we were on top but suddenly, the next minute we are at the bottom?

Funny isn’t it anenemy suddenly turned to be our friend?

Funny isn’t it a bestfriend suddenly turned to be someone wedon’t know?

Funny isn’t it a sensitive person suddenly turned to be really heartless?

Funny. That’s all me. Some things I admitted I change for a reason,but some things, maybe its changing by itself? Who knows? It just happened. “Bethat back”. Three words, 10 letters,1000 meanings. Proven.

1st Daughter

2011-12-05T23:26:00.001+08:00

My oldest sister, Farrah or I more prefer to call her as Along has been called for a Long Call ceremony yesterday. Long Call is sorta like graduation ceremony for the lawyers of becoming officially as Advocates & Solicitors of the High Court of Malaya. It sounds like the end of her learning journey and begins her new day today as an official lawyer. All of us decided took a day-off and skipped classes just to witness Along's Long Call at the court.

Honestly, I've been waiting this for so long! It was indeed one hell of experience to Along and also myself to get to know how these things are actually works. I've been wondering and describing how the court looks like, how the magistrate seems like, how big inside there and NOW all the questions in my head are finally answered. Its my first time to be in court weh! But too bad though, we're not allowed to capture pictures in there :( It reminds me that should've sharpen my drawing skills so I could tell you how amazing it was!

Anyway, proudly to say that I witnessed 14 lawyers yesterday! So cute! Including Along of course, she's number 12. I just can't the deny the fact that the procedure were quite fussy and complicated. Not like other usual graduations in university, this is like lagi strict. Hahahaha. So when Along's name has been calling out, the mover (senior-lawyer) will introduce and tell the background how she started her studies. From A-levels at Taylors, to HELP then to Manchester University and had chambering in a company and so on. There were also appreciation speech where stated both of my parents name. Oh.... seriously.. If I can take out my camera, I'd like to capture the smile that appeared on both of my parent's face! Even Angah, Kakak, Ajie and even myself "Nurin" names were in the speech! Can't tell how proud of us!

Then, the mover robed Along as how she's now officially a lawyer. It was truly a meaningful ceremony that I couldn't describe in words.

I must say that I'm so proud of Along. She had been through hell of years, suffering on studying Law just to fulfill both of my parents' dreams. She never intend to do Law, it's not even in her list pun but yet, look the hell she is now, a lawyer.

In fact, its true when they say that parent always knows the best for their children. It hits me that I should listen to them and achieve my dreams & goals no matter what. I can. I just have to believe in myself and sacrifice a lot. Pray always. I wanna see the same smile that gonna appear in my parents face one day. I WANT TO SEE THAT. I want them to be proud of me, I just have to do it somehow.

Nways, congratulations Along on your amazing achievement! We love you!

But you can't see

2011-12-02T13:40:00.001+08:00

It will start raining soon and I wish I could run to the outside. Laying on the grass, feel the water that dropping from the sky. Just shout whatever that will come out from my heart, and start crying. Spilling it out to the world. Because you know why? Nobody hears me. Nobody sees me. The thunders, the lightning and the rainwater are going to do a great job for covering the thoughts and tears.

Macam tulah rasanya sekarang. Hujan lah cepat.

PRELOVED

2011-12-02T13:02:00.001+08:00

I used to be earrings fan five years back. I started to stop since I'm having sensitive skin and due to that, I had an infection. I can't wear any earrings dah. So here we are now, I'm selling my earrings to those who's interested. Most of them I haven't wore yet. Kesian je tak sempat nak pakai but there is exactly no use to keep it in the box.

I'm selling 3 pairs for RM20. Special rate for number 13, that's only a pair that costs for RM20. I bought it from Singapore so you get what I meant. Those who are interested, don't shy.. I know you want to grab few! Here's some step you need to do:

Step #1: Choose 3 earrings that catches your eyes!
Step #2: Email me your choice (please mention which number), full name, address and contact number to nurinabdullah@gmail.com

Since I don't have any card number, the order only valid for few places which is Shah Alam, Subang Jaya, Subang and Klang area (depends which area) and it takes extra RM5 for delivery.

Don't worry if you're not an earrings fan, you still can grab few for your mum, sisters, girlfriends, friends or whoever. You can make it also as birthday presents! See you don't have to mess up your mind on things what should I give as present, right? :-)

For more information, just please ask me through email.

LEGGO!

2011-12-02T12:01:00.001+08:00

Letting November go wasn't that easy. It was the only month that I wasted my time for stupid things. Spending the whole month by downloading movies (daripada English movie, ke Hindustan, ke Indon, semua ada) Then I tried to play some few songs on the piano and glad I made it. For a slow learner like me, I took one week to play ONE song successfully. See how lembab. Menyesal jugak quit piano class dulu.

I don't know if I had ever mention this but anyway, I'm telling it again. Most of my friends are actually working for a month so I was like kinda stuck at home alone don't know what to do. So there comes random things exists. This is what I've been doing last week (or isit two weeks ago? dah lupa)

Stick that beside my bed as how it MAY give me spirits to study everytime I woke up. Oh! I even made myself a study schedule yesterday, which I know I'll ended up ignoring those shit. Typical me but as how everyone has their own revolution every single year, I'll try my best to stick and follow the schedule :) So anyway, it is December already. I'm starting my tuition tomorrow. The earlier, the better right. I can't wait though.

Oh, dead meat!

2011-11-19T21:21:00.001+08:00

Final results are finally out. I can't find any suitable word other than disappointed. Guess I need to pull MORE hard work than what I had given before. I don't even know how to tell my parents about it. I bet disappointed comes first and MAD comes second. I know it's a really huge deal since they actually paid all those expensive tuition fees but.. at the end the results would be like THIS. Ughhhh frustrating isn't it. Just had a lecture from Kekda by telling how not serious I was.. Of course I got really grumpy to hear all that, but I managed to listen and shut my mouth up rather than being yelled or something later. I need to prepare for another lecture from both of my parents soon hahahahahahahhaha. Well usually it is hard to see both of my parents to get angry about it but I know deep inside they were expecting a lot better. Susah jadi anak last ni sebenarnya.

Anyways, I thanked and alhamdullilah for this results. I promise I'll do much better next year.

L'eau de mer

2011-11-19T18:31:00.001+08:00

SCHOOL HOLIDAYS FINALLY STARTED! Holidays, holidays, holidays. Finally a break from waking up early mornings, a break from making excuse to absent, a break from iron uniforms. Those are the things made even lazier every each day. So anyway, back to the "two months of holidays" I'm having here. It just has started for 16 days but I think I've enjoyed myself as if it is ending tomorrow. I can't exactly recall what I did every each day but though, it was quite enjoyable so far.

Scratch the part where most of my friends are having a busy routine at work to earn some cash, while I'm doing the other way around. Without even asking any permission or something, deep down I know parents wouldn't allow me to go for a work since safety is the main priority. They're being protective yada yada yada yada. Well, if you're a teen of course you know how it goes. But I wouldn't mind actually. I don't wanna go for a work because I know I'll end up complaining how tiring it is. So nampaknya saya ni memang menghabiskan beras kat rumah je lah.

Before Hazeeq's leaving to Segamat again for his second semester, we both were up for a trip. Just to fulfill our holidays with something memoriable. We're in between to go Aquaria or Petrosains. Both of us are animal lovers so we ended up choosing a day trip to Aquaria! Yay! It was seriously a fun trip with Hazeeq himself, Hazeeq's sisters and their friend, Aliah Huda :-)

(via Nalisya Nadia)

It was the third time I think I've been to Aquaria and honestly I've been waiting for any changes (like new species of animals or sorts) but there was literally nothing. Quite upset. They should come up with the idea of Penguins and Sea Lion. Then I'll be the happiest girl alive. Everything is like mostly very common animals that you'll find at the sea. But the good quality of Aquaria is there's Cage Rage/Dive with Sharks activities which I'm absolutely gonna force Hazeeq to try up together, one day. A year or more diving experience is like necessary in this case so I guess I'll stick to the plan of getting my diving license first. Well then, I'll hola Aquaria back again!

Oh! By the way, I found two-three kind of unique species in Aquaria! I found a fish that looks alike a worm. It was long. I really mean it, it was LONG. I mean, for a kind of fish, it's kinda long. And small, and unique, and worm-like and it just got my bloody attention. I was like staring at this unique species for minutes. I just google-ed this kind of species and it actually called as "Worm Eels", I suppose? Besides, I met up with the jellyfish! It was white, transparent, cute, swimming everywhere and amazed me. It made startle and stared for few minutes too. Oh! Lastly, the sea horses! My first time and I got excited all the way. They were cute and I finally knew how they actually walk/swim (or whatever you called) in the water. They have sort of wings and flies in the water. Hahahahaha sorry I'm a failure when it comes to animals structures. Wait, does it called "animal structures"? Structures... the word structure isn't suitable right hahaha oh God.

Here's the pictures of amazing species!

I had fun after all, Alhamdullilah ;-)

Tears of Memoir

2011-11-13T22:05:00.001+08:00

11/11/11

(11 November 2011)

I can tell MOST of you are waiting for this date. Hoping for something sweet/romantic/nice/incredible/miracles to happen in your life. Some made it. Some are not. But you know, things won't happened if you keep waiting and do nothing. Things will be a lot amazing but you need to change it to the way how you want it to be. My 11/11/11 went awesomely great. It was the last day of school, last day of me being F4 & last day for me to see the seniors! Even a day before already I can feel it's gonna be really a good day.

The day started as usual w bacaan Yassiin at ground floor hall. Then it continued by Form 3 settled down their class stalls for carnival as their one of after-PMR-activities. They were so lucky having something like that, when I was in F3 all I did was nothing! The Form 5s had to go through majlis restu & hear all those last encourage words from teachers before SPM. While the rest had to sit at the canteen since being in the classroom were strictly prohibited. Sitting around is just not myself, I walk around the school instead. Looking for my teachers & asked about my exam marks (God, now I just realized how lifeless I was hahahahaha!).

Didn't get the chance to buy anything from the carnival since I'm saving some money for something worth. I brought the lasagna to school so that doesn't make any difference though. Played Uno, had chats about alot of things w friends and camwhores. It was just another simple day but yet there was something special about it that can't be expressed. It was exactly a day to remember. "Something simple makes that something turns to be really good" :-)

(via Salina & Qistina; thank you alot)

By taking photos w most of my favourite seniors made realized that their appearance actually gave such a huge impact in my life. It made me speechless for hundreds times when my heart keep saying "Lepas ni dorang dah takda dah". This is sad I kid you not. I really meant it! This is gonna be really sad. I always thought senior's batch 93 (the year before) always the best. But I was wrong. Every year, every seniors, has their own personality. This year; eventhough I didn't get the chance to know every each of them but I know. I just know, they're nice enough.

I still can remember last year my heart was crying out loud when Hazeeq's ending his highschool. I thought I won't be facing the feelings anymore. Guess not. It still hurts to me to see my seniors when they were walking out from the school for the last time. Especially Ah Keong, may God bless you friend. Thanks for being a good senior by marah me, ejek me, perli me and force me eat most of the time -_- No matter how annoyed those things, I honestly gonna miss it someday. Now you're not in school so I don't know to who I need to run when I have a problem. Hoping you'll crying again reading this. (I made him CRIED like a baby that day hahahahahahahahha it was a success. Sorry I just can't stop laughing!)

Special shout for SPM candidates: "Pack up your gears! Sharpen your sword (pencil), bring enough armor (brain), there is a war tomorrow! Good luck and all the best in your exams!"

Even worse, I am a senior now.

One more year?

2011-11-13T21:48:00.001+08:00

I actually had received all Form 5's textbooks last Wednesday. I think that was quite early but of course, now everything's relevant since I have to get started with revision. I still can remember 4 days back, the moment where we (the Form 4s) had to sit on assembly hall. Waiting for our turn to get the textbooks. I was looking to the left and to the right. Slowly like a swing of cradle. And again, looking to the left and to the right. Do it again and over again for couple of the times. Looking all these faces and somehow I got emotional all of sudden. I was like "4 years at this school and now I'm going to be a senior? Seriously?"

It made me burst into tears by looking at my Form 4 mates faces and the thoughts that I've been growing for 4 years with (mostly) all of them. It is so clear that we're going to be the seniors and soon to end the highschool. I don't know..... why is it always me? Why I always feel things like this earlier than everyone else? I once had a talk w my friend about this and the replies was like "Lek ah lu. Kita baru Form 4". True but dude urgh com' on, we don't know when is our last time. I'm just afraid we couldn't have enough time to spent time together? But anyways, time flies. November it is.

I took a day leave on the next day, trying so hard to do something productive. AT LAST. After craving for months, I decided to bake some lasagna. Hazeeq helped me by buying the things (Thank you! ^^) then Kekda & me made the rest. Here's the progress!

Beside that, I also came up w the ideas of doing something creative. I haven't touched colour pencil since I-don't-know-when but finally! I miss you a lot... colours. It is a plain frame that I bought from IKEA few months ago. Trying so hard to do abstract design around it but yeah, I failed. (Hahahahahaha yeah dammit, losing my mojo Arts just like that? It's been really a year I didn't do something like this). I really need to sharpen my skills man. Like really. I ended up drawing and colouring everything that came into my mind. Anyway, I gave the frame as a gift to someone who lighten my life when I'm having difficulties. There is actually a picture of me and that person in it.

Eventhough the outcome didn't turned out as how I wanted it to be but Alhamdullilah, I made it with all my heart. I seriously hope this is really meant something for a friendship :-)

Is this real?

2011-11-07T21:24:00.003+08:00

"Weh cuti ni jom hangout, jangan hilangkan diri okay!"

"Hahaha tu lah, dah terbiase hilangkan diri"

"Orang time holiday ni lah malas nak hilangkan diri."

"Nurin, you time holiday ke, time tak holiday ke, you yang sebenarnya hilangkan diri ada lah"

Ouch.

Orang tak nampak aku atau memang betul aku hilangkan diri?

"Eh taknak lah, I takut dia terasa. Takpe, I okay je"

"Nurin, you selalu fikir pasal orang kan? Diri you nak letak mana?"

Ouch kali kedua.

Maybe I care too much sometimes..

"I wonder if they'll look for me. Ah, I bet they don't..."

"Nurin, don't think too much. You fikir jauh sangat tau tak?"

Ouch kali ketiga.

Maybe it's true that I overthink sometimes..

"Hmmm I have to. If I won't, they'll get hurt"

"Nurin, boleh tak for once, you buat benda yang boleh happykan yourself?"

Ouch kali keempat. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Ouch. Pedih bro. Pedih. I can't tell how hurt the truth is but seriously.. Now, I learnt. All these things are getting fade away, alhamdullilah. I learnt from my mistakes.

Count This

2011-11-07T13:14:00.002+08:00

This is my dream and this is my promise for today; I'm going to make a dream comes true.

- Myself at12:59am 6 November 2011

Where's The Place?

2011-11-07T12:41:00.000+08:00

Almost everything in my head right now are jumble, here and there, bumped and bounce each other and stucked in there. How complex. Sometimes I feel stupid for knowing someone that didn't know that I ever exist. No matter how hard I tried, most of the time I just feel like I don't belong here. I tried so much to fit in. I want you guys to know that NURIN IS HERE but why it still isn't working? Am I stupid enough for giving them a chance or are they blind?

Honestly, I confess; I may not be a good friend to you, I might talk shits behind your back, I don't appreciate friendship sometimes, I negligent from your care, I didn't notice friends most of time but I do mistakes. I know. I know and I try to change myself. But what else I just did? Tell me. Tell me what I did to you eventhough it's gonna hurt so much to me. What else I did to you? Where's the wrong? What I did until I broke your heart? What? Where?

I just don't know what I did ..

.. until you ignored what I said, until you didn't care the small things, until you decided not to help me when I'm in need but what hurt the most is until I'm not in your "friends-I-can-count-in" list. Truly, I seriously wanna know where I did wrong.

Is it that I'm not good enough to be your friend? Is it that I'm not that type friends you should be with? Is it about the status; I am ugly, you're pretty? I am poor, you're rich? I am stupid, you're clever? URGH SCRATCH THAT. We all know status isn't the thing but even if it's true status is the thing then you should have been tell me. I am already feeling insecure and feels like I don't belong here already.

Maybe I was expecting that friends are gonna be there most of the time, friends gonna say yes for every each hangouts I invited them, friends gonna up for doing crazy things, friends will go high when I ask for a sleepover, friends are just be there. Yep, maybe that's too much to ask for a friend.

I am sorry.

Crawling Baby

2011-11-05T21:23:00.001+08:00

This writings are suppose to be publish for a long time but I had to postpone since I was busy preparing for my finals. Glad I'm done with books for now. I just wanna relax all I want w/o feeling guilty nor stupid. I've been through finals for A MONTH. I just can't find other word than EXHAUSTED. It was major dead trying & I believe next year will be double of these. I have decided to add-on Arts next year since I started to stay and keen on Architecture & Design course. Which means, triple dying.

Anyway, back on what I'm suppose to say. I can't remember when is exactly the first time my family & I started to take care of cats. But now, we're technically a cat lover I suppose? Well yes I think I've wrote about my cats before but seems like I have to come up with another one since ... we are now ... own ... sixteen cats. Sixteen. SIXTEEN. Yes yes I know... Just call us a freak *sigh*

Practically, yes we used to. Used to have16 cats but unfortunately we decided to give away some of the cats since it will take excessive cost to raise all of them + the complaints that had been threw from my annoying neighbours. No idea why they brought simple matters to complicated. The only thing, we can do is, reducing the amount of cats. Nuff said. I was the only one who protest about the decision but at the end of the day, I lose. We have to start giving away. Sixteen is big amount right?

We decided to keep the old ones & gave away the young ones. Young generations need experience.. yeah. new experience, new place.. Sigh.. I'm just sad.. Alahai nak buat macam mana, terpaksa.. Huhuuuuuu.. These are all the only left.

While these (below) are the rest that were given to new owners. Here we go. The sadness..
Have fun w your new owner Friday, Brown, April, Kiko & the kittens.

=(

Sayonara cats & kitten. Farewell. Till we meet again. Love you.

Voice Of BJ

2011-10-09T20:53:00.004+08:00

I've been staying here for 7 years. Yes 7 YEARS. I've been seeing the boys playing football for 7 years, every evening and now everything's gone. Totally gone. Now the field in under construction to build a new building; mini stadium/parkings and futsal court. This video just made me burst into tears. I don't know if SimeDarby are alert about this but they just made all these communities heart's broke into a million pieces. Even myself, I don't play football but it just so sad that the scenery orang main bola every evening tetibe takda. Even sad, where they're going to play football every evening? Tepi jalan? Lorong rumah?
The idea of creating mini stadium is a very good thing that will ever happen in my house area but by taking their football field? No. Really. It's a sad thing. Thus, I'm a go green person. Not even myself, all of us are! The big green field now is being replaced by all the buildings? YUCKS. Plant more bloody tress.
Come to think about it, yes lah yes they can play football inside the stadium but is that for free? I'm sure it's a no. Paying RM20 per day just for a football, hoi backrupt semua orang. I really hope SimeDarby are listening to us, at least, this time? It's not about me, it's about the communities man. At least, talk to us what's the best for the residents!
P/S: I heard the meeting didn't go well, they still stick with their decision on making mini stadium. Hmmm I'm still hoping and praying they might change their mind. Hopefully? Who knows?
SAVE OUR FIELD.

Homeless People

2011-10-09T20:28:00.003+08:00

Whoever you are now, wherever you are now, just, be thankful. You wanna know why?

Abah's office had a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) program on the 1st October. The aim of the program is to help those communities who are in needs or in another words, it's an another charity program. All department had to come up with various activities. As how Abah's the head of Mortgage, he decided to go on helping those homeless people. The first time Abah told us about it, I can't describe, I'm just beyond excited. I think this is the first time involving myself into charity things.

The exact plan was nak menyerbu all those homeless people usually "berkampung"/place where they sleep (tepi lorong, tepi kaki lima, bawah jambatan, pondok, taman permainan etc etc) but unfortunately the Homeless People Society didn't agree on the plan as how those homeless people MIGHT hurt us. Quite disappointed bcus I'm so eager to see and to know how those people can live WITHOUT a house!

But then, the programmee still go on by inviting all the homeless people to Menara Maybank to get their goodies. Talking about the goodies, both of my heart, I'm really proud of Kekda. The one who cook the foods for those 600 homeless people by herself (with little help from us of course) and sacrifice a night for not sleeping! Ya Allah, sesungguhnya orang ni sangat mulia :'-) Here how does the preparations of Beriyani Ayam goes, the day before.

The next morning, packing the foods into tupperwares!

After all those 600 of Nasi Beriyani Ayam are packed, straight away to Menara Maybank. The day finally arrived! The homeless people are getting the foods! :-)

Abah and some of the heads. Now, giving Nasi Briyani ceremony!

Look at their faces. Macam tak pernah makan sebulan. Ada yang dapat makanan, terus makan without looking left or even right! Alhamdullilah. Beside giving them to eat, the other staffs entertained them by few activities like sharing stories and karaoke! Some of homeless people were quite harmful, they talk and walk harshly. I was scared being around them but I tried to fit in and not to be the "lucky" ones so that they didn't feel offended. Btw, this time, seriously LOOK AT THEIR FACES.

Looking at these people just made me burst into tears inside and speechless, how unfortunate their life is. HOW CRAZY IT IS WHEN THIS ONE TUPPERWARE OF NASI BRIYANI AYAM CAN CHANGE THEIR LIFE INTO A SMILE. Imagine us? Dapat satu tupperware tu pun tak bersyukur. Really. Thinking back again, we're all greedy and being so unthankful. All we want a bigger house but yet have you ever think of them who never feel to sleep inside a proper house? Hmmm think back again.

It was obviously one of the best experiences I ever had.

I'm very thankful that Abah brought us to join this programe, it totally made me into a better person. I don't know to describe how good the feelings are but when you do something to the community, MasyaAllah, nikmat tu. Nikmat tu rasa macam ya Allah nobody can even describe it. Sooooooooooooooooooo good.

Sakty is a good friend of mine, he once said "If you wanna help someone, just anyone sincerely, they; will come and seek for your help." Come to think about it, he's definitely right.

Tick Tick

2011-09-29T19:49:00.000+08:00

Heck I was suppose to finish up one of my co-curriculum activities reports but again when you know it's time for some writing, there's nothing else can win. You probably been thinking that I am too busy to even update a post but honestly I click the blogger site more often than you ever thought. Or more often than other social networking site. I still read the blogs I that follow. I'm a silent reader *shh*. I read, I inspired. I just love to read everyone's passion and opinions towards something.

However I shouldn't be blogging that much since I just can count w my fingers on how many days left til finals. I never thought these honeymoon year could be these tiring and YES I even get annoyed with studies. YES. I gave up so much on Chemistry a lot since I don't understand what's the teacher (my classmates call her hantu gigi instead) is teaching infront of the class & on the same time I'm not having Chemistry tuition. So maybe that's why. I'm just sick of Chemistry.

Talking about being busy, looks like I've been ignored photography as much as blogger. The camera must feel very offended now. I should hv been taking more pictures and most importantly UPLOAD. I get annoyed when people keep telling to upload the pictures while I am such a lazy bum and yes, you got my point there. But what's the point of taking but locked it in folders right? Thinking of changing to EOS 60D/7D in any time soon and Mak seems to agree about it. Shall talk to Abah someday and how I wish everything doesn't involve with MONEY.

Okay back to studies. Aiming the best for the rest of the year, 6A's at least. Aaaaaaaaaa I have to study Agama now :-( More later, loves.

Colourful

2011-09-28T22:03:00.001+08:00

YES there are people who are greater than you. There are people who are cuter, more handsome, more intelligent, more caring, more fortunate. That's life; full of temptations but I don't wanna be decieved by all those things. Because.. listen here; Didn't you realize that there are people who are also greater than you, yet I chose you?

Honestly I'm not a person who knows how to write and deliver it so well but he is just someone that I always can count on. In any situations. He was there when I need a shoulder to cry on, he was there when I need a friend to laugh my ass off. Sometimes I wonder how and what to give as a return. He had been too nice to me. Yet I can be a bit greedy, unhappy, angry towards him. But some things I don't bear to hold on it. It's pressuring me.

I want him to know that I hate him for being there. We always run of time to share things. I wish he was here. I want him to be here because you know, when he was here everything seems to be complete. And how funny a simple matters can be very complicated when he was there. And how easy misunderstanding can be reflects us when there's distance. I hate you distance. I hate you.

BUT I know I'm being all greedy over here. You were there for your future & I know I'll be on the same boat in next two years. I wish I can turn all my greedy feelings to thankful. I am. I am trying so hard. *slapped the head* *telling the head to be thankful* I'm here waiting for you ;-)

I love you bestfriend, my man.

Feel Me

2011-09-28T21:39:00.001+08:00

“ I just don’t feel like I know myself very well right now; so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know; like I don’t belong in my own skin. And I get so frustrated at everything. I could just scream and there’s no reason for it.

- Unknown

Till We Meet Again

2011-09-28T21:16:00.000+08:00

*kiss every each of alphabets at the keyboard*

YAY look who's finally writing haha. FYI for those who didn't notice what day it is, it;s the last day of Syawal. So grateful that we had go through the whole month by enjoying all the good foods, all the angpaos, all the happiness, all the open houses, all those days visiting all the relatives from the whole world!

So let's see. Hmmm I think it is a success that I didn't skip any of my friend's open houses. Remember I mentioned about a bummer Raya I had before? Well after all I did not *big yay as a background* I seriously had a lot of fun a week after (where all the open house invitations get started hehe). O wait I think I did skipped, one or two open houses due to lack of rest & then I even got a terrible tummyache! Hahaha ni cheq habaq awal awal (padahal dah habis raya) makan jangan over ye adik adik rakan rakan sekalian. Akak ni makan sampai tak hingat dunia, tapi badan tak beso beso! Hahaha!

Beside Ramadhan, yes it is a good month to be true. I can't find any suitable words to describe how fun it is but here's some pictures how I spent my raya from the first and the very last day :-)

( Pictures via Nurul Aisyah / Syaza / Cya )

The rest of the open houses I didn't get the chance to snap any pictures since OHHH FOOOOODS all time in my mind when I reached everyone's house. Hehe. Oh anyway dearly Syawal, so long farewell to you. Goodbye for now InsyaAllah until we meet again :-)

Forgive & Forget

2011-09-07T16:37:00.001+08:00

I suddenly remembered that I haven't post a proper Hari Raya wish. Since it's only 9 Syawal (and look how the time flies so fast) I'm wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir dan Batin :-)

Forgive me all my wrong doings towards you especially through all my posts before this that probably might offended you. I'm deeply sorry. Through all my 16 years, if I've ever done a mistake from you, I hope I'm forgiven and given another chance to be a better person. Peace (^^)V

Lickin' good

2011-09-02T02:20:00.001+08:00

This is exactly how I roll.

Late updates: August test was a blergh. I guessed I've lost my studies mojo. I have never felt this bad :-( So I didn't do it as how I usually did my best but what's done is done. A week off, here I go!

Oh! Salam Aidilfitri! Nak duit raya! *eyes sparkles*

Here I am already at Shah Alam (back after 4 days at hometown). Sadly, Ramadhan had to leave us again..... and here goes Syawal! Both Ramadhan and Syawal are my favourite months. Months of joy. Months of cherish. Months of laughters. Months where I can feel the stronger bond between family. Without these months, I couldn't say more. I probably (Beside knowing there's Kekda) playing games alone. Watching tv alone. Reading alone. Laughing alone. Talking alone. Or even worst, having dinner alone which I'm getting used to it actually. People in house are busy chasing their dreams. I'm not blaming them for not being there, because I'll be exactly like them when the time is arrive. I'm just ..... lucky still having here celebrating Ramadhan & Syawal with them. Knowing that they will come back for breakfasting. Knowing that they will come back with some kuih raya, hampers, juadah berbuka & etc. These are the reasons why I've been waiting these two months to come every single year, it's the only months I feel loved.

This Eid celebration was such a bummer since a relative from Mak's side admitted to hospital due kidney problem. Eventhough everything goes well afterwards, but there's still something not okay with it. These just caused a sadness. Situations became more sadder when relatives from Abah's side had an accident car-and-doubledekkerbus crashed two days before Raya. It were so sad knowing the cousins had to go through the Raya at hospital with broken arm, broken legs & cramps neck. Besides that, I just had fun :-) Pictures will be update soon.

I'm so grateful for everything, Alhamdullillah Ya Allah :-)

When everything Goes Wrong

2011-08-18T19:22:00.002+08:00

(via Tumblr)

I just hate how lately I have lost my inspirations to write, to draw, to capture good pictures, or even to focus on something worthwhile. Been focusing on my studies (am having exam week over here) but well then, beside that? I'm exactly being unproductive. I just hate who I am now for being uncreative like how I used to. Oh wait, where all the craziness and crackness gone?! Uh, I miss, I miss the old me. I'm sorry for not talking neither replying any of you like how the days are going so emotional to me. Part of the world, I should've say hi and being friendly because I believe on the phrase "friends are your inspirations" but for a moment I don't feel like doing so. Am not being choosy but living for 16 years dealing and meeting alot of people who urge to start a fight over something silly makes me sick. Having hard times on trusting people like that. But well then, I'm still. I'm still a girl who desperately waiting the inspirations will comes by itself.

Oh, silly me. I should work for it! I must do something! (>.<)

August Momentum

2011-08-17T18:12:00.002+08:00

Sedih macam mana pun, ego tinggi berbukit macam mana pun, emo macam mana pun, marah gila babi macam mana pun, nangis macam orang hilang anak pun, kena marah dengan cikgu pun, kena denda macam mana pun, fail subjects macam mana pun ...

They know how to make me smile. ♥

(Half of Class Omega '11 Berbuka Puasa)

Hatred

2011-08-17T17:58:00.000+08:00

" Most of the time I hate everything and everyone. Most of the time I feel bad for doing so " - a girl from Twitter.

I couldn't agree more. Sometimes, I wish I can run from here and go travel. Run to a beach. Up for scuba driving. (How crave of me getting scuba driving's lisence one day!) Or sitting on the sand, all day long, reading novels with sounds of the great waves as background, watch sunset, cuddle with my man. Oh. How nice. How great if I could spent my weekend by doing this. Can I just run? Can I just freaking take a key and drive and go everywhere but not just here? Here is the place to be hatred.

I mean, don't get me wrong. It isn't specifically run from house/family (in case if that's in your mind, you bloody paranoid) I'm just wanna find somewhere I can live in peace. Here is the place full of a disgust. The humans here are indescribable. Hypocrite. Liars. Hunger for popularity. I believed some of you may noticed I loved to be alone. Sometimes, I just love to. But running away just making myself more weaker. Weakest. So here I am, facing all this hating, disgusting, annoying dramas with my both eyes. Or in the other words, in more specifically, friends can be really mean. Am not judging & choosing who I wanna be friends with, but friends are the ones who made who are you today. No matter how you're trying to be nice, they'll hurt you. HURT you.

I think this is the honest statement I ever wrote.

Pintu Hati

2011-08-04T18:19:00.002+08:00

At this time, a year ago, for several days, during Ramadhan, those days I still can recall back. I dreamt about something horrible. Something terrible. Something dreadful. Awful. Horrific. Something that you just never thought in your mind. Indeed, it was a total nightmares for me. I even refused to go to bed because I'm just too afraid. Afraid of facing this horrible dreams over and over again.

I can't explain how the situation were in my dreams but... there were so much difficulties, I had to go through a lot of things.. There were earthquake.. There were bloods.. There were situation everyone was fighting each other.. I was running and looking a place for hide.. The sky was so dark.. There were people crying and telling "Dah tiba". People praying everywhere they were standing before ................................ It just something that you never imagined before but somehow it made me feels really scared. Really really scared. Something that you know, it might be the end.

Anyhow something just clicked myself. Thinking about WHY this dreams could happened for me. Having bad dreams about same thing, every night, in sequences, come on, this ain't funny anymore right?

So I prayed. I prayed for the One to show me what's the behind of these dreams. I even asked my Ustazah at school what does it means. But not in directly, I just asked if there is any message behind every dreams. And how weird, out of the blue, those Nabi Muhammad stories immediately came right into my head. Oh.. how genius. How great. How speechless. Everything's just so related! It can't be denied anymore!

After few days, having normal lives with the feelings of unhappy, very uneasy, very afraid. I just don't know how even to explain it but whatever I do, I feel wrong. Went to shopping complex, saw few people wore hijab, once in my life, I can see those lights in their life, and once in my life, I ever think about how rude, how disgust, how pesky, I was before towards Him. He showed. He showed me the right path. I'm happy, I'm the lucky ones who got captured what was happening behind all the dreams. This is it.

Started to wear hijab since then. Alhamdullilah all the dreams stopped. Alhamdullilah my life's getting happier, easier and I feel more comfortable. My heart feels easy. Very easy after then.

That was a story of a year ago. Allah bukak pintu hati yang dikunci ni. Terbukak jugak. Akhirnya. Alhamdullilah. Wonder what's gonna happen for this Ramadhan. InsyaAllah pintu hati kedua mungkin terbuka? We never knows. Salam Ramadhan readers ♥

Gulp & Gasp in Action

2011-07-31T01:07:00.008+08:00

Just in case you're wondering where I've been missing for a week...

The English department in my school decided to do a drama competition for F4 students, class vs class. 8 classes. The drama titled "Gulp and Gasp" is based on our Form 4 literature book. The teachers think that was the only way the students will read it & make it interesting. Well yes of cus if you're student, obviously you will know what happen. English can be very bore when it comes to literature & all we had to do is read, listen and yawning in class!

So the competition held on last 26th. It went successfully eventhough some of them aren't giving cooperation but hey we did it! We struggled a lot. Sacrifices alot of cash to do our class shirt, background, paints, props & make ups. Most of important is OUR TIME. We were all excited about it. Alhamdullilah. I'm just proud of everyone. Even other classes too! Somehow it changed my assumptions towards everyone. Everybody can do acting no matter who the hell you are! :-)

Working with our backgrounds. So glad everyone said it was nice.

Imran Mansur will definitely a great artist, in 10 years in coming :-)

Camwhoring / rehearsals / make up / last discussion.

Ahmad & Azim were waiting outside Dewan Tertutup. Waiting for our slot.

Nervous but yet, excited!

Some of the plays. Pictures were stole from Facebook. Didn't get to snap any pictures

during the drama plays since Akid & me was busy directing.

Omega family / Crackheads. Loving them, really :"-)

So happy everyone were being sporting and supporting each other at end of the day. After all, 7 months being together meant A LOT to me. How funny this drama could bring us all close together, as a family. Funny isn't it? I may sound immature for telling this too early, but I do love them ♥ I really do.

The drama competition's results will be announced on Monday! Pray all the best! We totally wanna win this since we wanna prove to all the teachers Omega could do much better (Omega class have been blacklisted caused of our noisiness. LOL right LOL) Just couldn't understand why our class will be first class to be aimed when there's something bad happened. Jahat kan cikgu ni kadang kadang. Bising je, nakal sikit, tapi tak jahat pun :-(

But winning isn't our expectation. We already did our best, to other classes too :-)

The sea of Blues

2011-07-31T01:07:00.007+08:00

I know this is kinda late for Chelsea but excuse me, just let me enjoy myself by writing all this. Alhamdullilah, got myself free tickets to Chelsea too. Amazing isn't it? I got those three game, Arsenal Liverpool and Chelsea! Praised to Allah. It was totally my rezeki for this year. Alhamdullilah.

What you do when you got free tickets? Throw in the dustbin? DUH OF COS I'm not gonna waste it just like that. So went there just for the sake of not burning the tickets, eventhough I'm not that interested. Syaza came along too. The game was quite boring lah since I'm not a Chelsea fan and in case if you're Man Utd fan, you'll be definitely know how it feels like here. They're like enemies since forever.

The proof why I hate them much bcus the fans are so rude! They were like pushing each other and being rude all the way. Minus the part that most of the time, they always curse whoever they against with. I just can't stand with the fans. (Hahaha menyampah betul aku). LOL sorry but it's fact! x_x

Malaysia (Harimau Muda) lost the game by 1-0. Chelsea score a goal but unfortunately it wasn't accepted to all us but oh well, you seriously couldn't do anything when there were referee in the field! It was a good game though. Losing but I'm just surprised the Chelsea Stars only could thrown a goal. Like, come on. They're the stars! You're famous because of your game, your play, your action but that's all you got?

The traffic was wow. Stuck for an hour and reached home around 1am. Syaza sleeping over here, my house. Sadly, the next day of Chelsea was Friday and yes, there was school .... (Syaza brought all her books and school uniforms ._. She really wants to go to school on the next day...) But I wasn't! Decided to skipped school and Syaza had to go alone. Hehe sorry Syaza!

I had fun, thank you for the day :-)

Allah SWT

2011-07-24T10:03:00.003+08:00

Ya Allah. I'm very grateful for everything :"-)

After so Long

2011-07-24T10:03:00.000+08:00

Next day after Liverpool's game, received a BBM from Izzat inviting me to a surprise birthday. A small surprise birthday party of Hazeeq and his friends, Aida and Imran. It might little bit late but I think it was such a great idea. I was startled at first since the party held at KFC and at night while I'm having school on the next day. (It was on Sunday that time) but I tried pulled myself together, finger crossed, no rushing and try to calm myself down.

Managed to settled w Hazeeq's small gift (beside Liverpool's ticket) and the card in one hour and half. Gave him a few of heart origami(s) and put them in transparent box. While the card was stated "Those are the pieces of my heart that you stole". Glad he love it and also the surprise! He just can't stop claiming the origami hearts are not enough because he actually had stole HALF of my heart. He wants a lot of origami hearts. Damn you boy, hahahahahahaha love him :"-)

Just in case you don't know, I'm the only one who's age 16 while the rest are 18 over there. Two years gap. Looking them, who used to be my seniors, used to be the ones I see everyday at school, now they're off to Uni/college just made me go Aww over and over again. I wish they know that I'm really glad having a great seniors like them. They're like unforgettable. I still can remember the things they had done in school for 4 years back!

I caught them sharing stories how their life in college/uni. Their excitement and courage to share... There's no word to say lah. They're just care each other, they even hug each other! Izafi went to me and said "Nurin, you akan lalui and rasa macam ni nanti". All I can do is, smile.

I smile but deep inside, I cry. I wonder if my friends now will stay like HOW I saw and I feel. Hazeeq's friends and Hazeeq himself, a nice people I ever met. I don't know if my friends now, or even my close friends now will always stay like how they did. Can you imagine, their birthday was like a month ago but they STILL did some birthday surprise? You see, their encouragement of doing something nice. The most importantly, their friendship. Speechless but yet, made me thinking somehow. Still wondering if this will happen to me.

Ya Allah. If it does, I'm glad. Friendship is one of the main reason why we stay.

You'll Never Walk Alone YNWA

2011-07-24T03:01:00.006+08:00

" Walk on... (walk on)

With hope (with hope)

In your heart....

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone.

Alone... "

I believe some of you know the lyrics up there if you're a true Liverpool fan. One word, Awesome. Got myself free tickets AGAIN from Abah. What else I could say man? :"-) Alhamdullilah. It was a day to remember, I just couldn't help myself. I don't know where to start, my hands start shaking because I'm just too excited to tell how great it was!

First, it was the day I've been waiting for so long. I'm meeting Hazeeq after months (okay, a month je sebenarnya) of not seeing each other! Hazeeq's off for a week from Segamat. Hooray! Second, Liverpool is Hazeeq's favourite team & I'm giving the ticket as birthday present. Third, my very first time to watch the match with friends! Hooray!

So okay, Hazeeq took me at home and we spend our time together abit. Took Nisa at Holiday Inn. Then we were heading to Stadium and all over the things I can say is, traffic jams. Nothing else we could do than waiting and finding some parking. Unfortunately we had to park somewhere far and literally WALK to Stadium. It took around 20 minutes. For Liverpool, all of us are obviously okay with it.

Walked to Stadium. I saw crowds and the atmosphere of fans were a slightly difference to be compared with Arsenal's. Liverpool's fan were sporting and uhhhh I just can't describe! STADIUM WAS CROWDED WITH HUMANS. That's it. Hahahahahaha I think it's easy to describe the feelings in that way, like dur.

Before the match start. Look at the seats!

And this is during the match. SEE THE SEATS, nuff said. PACKED.

Liverpool beat us by 6 and 3 from Malaysia. It was a good game. Really. Eventhough Malaysia could only thrown 3 goals but hey, seriously, I'm not disappointed at all. I mean, really, of course it's gonna be really tough to Malaysia players to win this since THEY ARE international players. We aren't in that stage yet. We're just on our way to be there. I'm just amazed with the fans. They were singing Liverpool's song over and over again. Their excitement was great. It reminds me alot of Man Utd game. Had to leave early, around the game on 4-3 since Nisa had to attend Prefect's Dinner.

Hazeeq & I don't feel regret at all to leave early, it was completely a great day. I had fun. The feelings watching the match with family and friends were obviously different. Both are fun. But still, I feel like bad. REALLY BAD. Guess you guys can see that I'm wearing Liverpool's jersey! Feeling bad till now, I am a traitor. Not suppose to wear that, Man Utd I still love you!

Good Saturday. A day to remember ♥

P/S: Thank you so much Nisa for the day & pictures! Most of the pictures were in our boyfriends' camera and yes of course, it's gonna be a veryyyyyyyyyyyy long time for them to upload the pictures (since they're now busy with Uni). Currently waiting for Hazeeq to pass the pictures. Or maybe I should just steal his camera you know. I just can't wait! Hope it's worth the wait ;-)

Gun gun gun Gunners!

2011-07-24T03:01:00.003+08:00

Well back then, I still can recall the first and the last time I went to Stadium Bukit Jalil for a football match. Two years back. A match between Malaysia and Machester United. It was fun watching my national team against my favourite team. & of course, after knowing that there are three international and uh- famous (of course) are coming this year, who's never got excited? Looking for tickets here & there for weeks. Collecting and saving some money just for the sake of buying the tickets but ended up Abah got 'em for free. For FREE.

That's it. Case close, stop worrying about where and how to buy, why and how I should spent for the tickets. Everything's settled. I got them for free. Alhamdullilah. I just can't describe how relieved and happy I was back then. I feel so content. Alhamdullilah :"-)

The Gunners! Match between Malaysia & Arsenal. Honestly, the game was quite bored, if you ask me. Since I'm not really football fan so I exactly know no one (I mean, the player). Yes what else you expect from me.. LOL. It was pretty unexpected when I actually could get this kind of seat/view. Because you see, I was out from the house around 8pm, reached Stadium around 8.30pm and the game starts 8:45pm. Pretty amazing aite. Nuff said. It seems that people wasn't aware of Arsenal's appearance in Malaysia or issit there's no Arsenal fans here in Malaysia? The stadium is quite empty.. The atmosphere of fans are zero.

Even the tickets were sold less than 80% which the only reason why there was no live show in TV. Madness. Everyone was thinking that was a total bullshit, even to me. It was really unfair to those in home. Arsenal beat us with 4 goals. 4 GOALS. Such a disappointed but we deserved it, the players weren't play their best. Brighter side, it was just a friendly game, why bother ;-)

Anyway, such a great experience to be in Stadium with The Gunners! Good game eventho they beat us with 4 and 0. The players are talllllll. Like really taaaallllll. I was like so amazed. Even in my seat I can the their height between them and Malaysian players. And I actually could heard them hitting the ball too. Damn. They are just very tallllll and strong and energetic. Hahahahahahahhaha! I had fun though.

Watched Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows Part II on the next day. I have so much to say right now about how amazing it was but then I only came up with "Nak tengok lagi" ! Seriously. Somebody need bring me!

You Fall, obviously

2011-07-09T19:46:00.000+08:00

Wello. Life's practically good after those tiring weeks. I had enough man, those headache and backache and cramps. Oh and I also had the 1Malaysia running last week. Determined not to join but turned out I'm the only one who's so excited about it when there's certificates. NATIONAL certificates. Awesomeness. The run went well eventho we came back with nothing. Still had fun w my groupmates & friends. Then the days after, just went so well too. Life is just so good? :-)

Okay crap. Snap that. Just cut everything what you read up there. You know life's not happening good all time. The truth is, I'm not that strong. You may think I am or I was, but completely I am not. But all I wish is, I wish I could be the one of the strongest.

I may accept things willingly eventho it will going to ruin all my entire life but you don't know how I was back then. Every single time when I received or I saw or I read or I heard something that caused a hundred pieces of my heart, I cried. And you people won't see that & telling "Wow Nurin, you're so strong. I can't even imagine you're strong enough" Truth is, no, I am not dear. I'm weak. Or wait, I'm the weakest. I did not writing this just for the sake of getting sympathy or whatever but like I mentioned before, I wanna know myself better. I am now. Look back, let's rewind.

Why everytime I'm having difficulties, all I do is crying and giving up and telling others about it? I mean, WHAT THE HELL I AM DOING MAN? One, I am a freak. Second and the most importantly, yes I do sounds like a loser (and yeah weaker too). Why do I cry? Because shame of myself? Why I'm always giving up? Isn't that is the test of God's given? Why do I tell about it to anyone? Don't you find that I'm depending into others?

This is just wrong. I should've been stronger than that. Way way stronger. I believed this happened after I'm losing a close friend. One of those I used to share my thoughts when I'm having difficulties. After knowing the person tend to close with a bunch of friends I'm not comfortable with, I'm full with dejected, sadness and anger when things happened like that between us because I knew I'm losing someone to tell all the difficulties. See? Did you get the point there? I sound weak, riggggght. I'm too depending into others and telling this & that just to feel better?! Oh well, it's time for me to start depending by my own. I can.

I can be stronger. I believe I can.

Another Hectic Weekend// Sports Day

2011-07-01T22:23:00.002+08:00

Mercury won first place and follow by Jupiter, Mars & Earth :-)

See the pictures? The banners (cheer boards), the claws, the painting. Those are one of my hardworks. Glad and relieved Mercury is the champion. SO BLOODY HAPPY. Miracles. I really thought Jupiter already beat our points but surprisingly, they did not. Haaaaaaah. Everything seems worthwhile when we won. I didn't entered anything this year, like running, house marching or even be the school's photographer... nope, everything. Weird. Really weird. I don't know why I didn't enter anything on the first place. Hm why?

"Awak! Mercury menang, sukanya!"

"Congrats! Baguslah"

"Tapi... walaupun menang, I rasa macam tak puas"

"Kan? I dah cakap kan? Masuk something? You tak masukkan?"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

"Next year masuk lari. Please Nurin. Promise"

"Hm okay promise"

"I know how you feel"

Betul, happy sangat Mercury menang tapi tak puas. Sighs. The worst part is semua orang tanya kenapa. Kenapa tak masuk any acara or even house marching. Kenapa? Nak kata nak bagi peluang kat orang lain, yes kinda but I'm kinda tired of trying. Penat mencuba tapi tak dapat apa kita inginkan. Seriously, thank you for those who always reminding me that setiap kegagalan, ada kemenangan yang mungkin tak disangka. I really really push that words into my mind now.

I will. I will enter something next year. At least one. And obviously 4x100m because that's the only acara I always go for gold for every year but not this year. Such a waste. Syukur. This time I'm not that regret that I used to but as a lesson to me, I really should try first :|

Those helping me cutting the boards and stuffs, thank you so much. I really appreciate it and not to forget, the photographers of the pictures, Afiqah Reza & Syaza Nurliyana. I really hope you guys don't mind I'm stealing the photos hehehe. You guys did a great work too!

Eventhough it just a week before,

rindu Sport's Day. Rindu semua. Rindu. Rindu.

Hectic Weekends

2011-07-01T20:54:00.001+08:00

Here's the reason why I don't have much time to do some writings.

Last two weeks, at this time, everything was so great. Indah sangat. Abah invited all of us to join his Team Building Mortgage. What the hell is that, yes I know that's actually in your mind now. It's a teamwork challenge + having fun w workmates due to too much work in office. Of course the program is suppose to be only Abah's department members but since I complained too much on how long we're off from vacation, Abah decided to drag all of us. All together went to Bukit Gambang Water Park, Pahang.

I kinda refused to go at first. Holy freak. What do you think about a 16 y/o girl is going to be in group with, what, 30 to 40 year old man and women? You gotta be kidding me! I'm scared! I might not be cooperating or maybe complain too much on that :P Guess what, it does happened but not most of the time. Glad Abah's staffs are so sporting and friendly :)

Had a lot of fun. My siblings were dividing into diff groups, play games, water challenge, flying fox. My weekend was obviously a succeed. A well spent weekend with a family. I was so happy, never thought I could bring my happiness back.

My group & also known as "Cap Ayam".

Presenting our group & doing the jingles. I'm pretty sure you don't wanna know why the guys were sitting so sexy aite? They were hillarious, Nuff said :-D

2nd day. Helium stick challenge. Hafta bring the stick all together to the ground. Look so easy, trust me, TOO HARD to deal with. The most interesting challenge ever. I really wanna tell this game to my friends soon! Very. Interesting. STILL AMAZED with it!

Self-confident challenge.

First. Time. EVER.

Niat dalam hati memang nak try sangat sangat sangat Flying Fox tapi dah sampai atas, gugup tak pasal pasal. LOL. Whole body shaking. I tried to run + refused to do so tapi Abah dengan garangnya telling it's a compulsory to everyone. Oh shite. I know. I admit flying fox is one of the things I wanna do the most but I've no idea why I'm not that kind of excited this time. Maybe it wasn't a right time. Willingly, I did it. I'm actually glad I did it and ignore my selfishness not to do so. It was hell of experience. If you guys never tried flying fox, seriously WHAT YOU GUYS ARE LIVING FOR? Try and never regret.

Sejujurnya, somehow this program made me into a diff person. I feel loved. Looking Abah being so sharing and doing this to his staffs made me changed my perception towards him. I'm surprised that he wasn't someone that I thought before. Last time I thought he is nice. But this time, he is very nice. See? See the differences how a such program that involve me, a 16 y/o with other old men and womens, could change my perception just like that? Miracles.

Maybe it's true. Betul orang kata. Tak kenal maka tak cinta.

Bullshit

2011-06-16T12:28:00.000+08:00

Just dropping by to say,

I FAILED MY FREAKING ADD MATHS.

From getting 73% A- for March test, now I only got 37% F for Mid-Term.

The highest in my class is 40%. Which that means I'm the 2nd highest in class and the rest failed. FAILED. The rest of 37 students in Omega failed. I found it very amusing & cool. Am not that disappointed because it's pretty expected already. I didn't study like I used before pun, so I deserve it. Serves me right too.

& maybe you should know that the questions were hard too.

So, I Go on

2011-06-14T17:24:00.004+08:00

Second semester of school just started. Pretty amazing I'm so looking for school right now eventho it was very exhausting. Mind me if i did some mistakes here & there bcus I'm deadly sleepy and hungry. I don't know is it just me or everyone felt the same way too, but everyone's growing! Like GROW as in taller, smarter and wiser. Note that I'm so small + thin + short at school. Yes that's totally define me in real life.

I found something interesting after two days of school reopens. As how all of us are suppose to get our exam marks. There's a dude getting his marks, which is just fine to me. Not that bad, at least he tried but the moment he received his results, "Ho lek. Takpelah markah rendah, aku ada duit. Duit ada, aku sekolah mana mana pun boleh". Glurp. I'm kinda agree that not everyone who's clever in studies now, will go for higher job in future. Even in life, there's a guy who never passed his +Math and now he's a millionaire but by saying that, it just so wrong. Maybe some of you will agree with that kind of statement he made but I really feel opposite.

What makes you said that?

How can you predict your future?

Will your money stays?

Are you sure your money is good ENOUGH?

To me, that's sounds so wrong. Even the moment he said that statement, I already feel very uneasy. It was something that I don't/ I won't like to hear. It's very irritating. And disgusting somehow. Never thought that will be coming out from someone. It was just wrong. Very. Wrong. Anyhow the statement actually made me think carefully & made me who I am today. I finally knew myself better. I don't like it when people playing around with future. Or even predicting what God's doing. He knows what he's doing. I know that the guy was trying to calm himself from feeling bad getting bad results but that still doesn't sounds good. It's obviously rude.

For Tonight

2011-06-09T00:19:00.000+08:00

I believed some of you might be hating this entry & thinking how tired you had to read about another love story at every blogs. Just in case you're not a lovey-dovey person or had some issues on how relationship works these days, you have the choice not to read this. This may sounds too much to you but these un-hidden expressions just couldn't help myself.

There's no harm on writing this because..

I love him. I miss him. So much :'C

Hazeeq continues his studies at UiTM Segamat in business course. Despite everything had started for month but the pain of having less time together are obviously hurts. For all I want him to know (which I know he probably reading this now) I miss him so much. I really do. It's funny when it sounds like part of me is gone, but it was true! In my case, I feel lost & very lonely.

Knowing that there's nothing to stalk (LOL I bet every girlfriends are doing the same thing hehe), there's no one to bring out just pure sucks. Especially during school holidays. I've been waiting for this break, since God knows when just for the thought of having fun with him but he had to continue his studies instead. In DIFFERENT states.

Technology helps but not in fully way. All I can do is pray him all the best in studies. Same goes to me, I really need to catch up everything soon and make him proud too. He must be proud of me if I did well in my Mid-Terms. Going to get those results in 3 days. Creepy!

Just gimme the knife

2011-06-07T16:54:00.002+08:00

"And I have found something that I could see myself do in the future. Problem is, there isn't a chance for me to shine. I don't really stand out against everyone, I tend to blend in. The only thing separating me from everyone else is my imagination which of course can't be seen from anybody else " - S. Sofea

I couldn't agree some more.

Anger. I admit, the anger inside me won't go any far. Marah marah nak pegi mana bro? True, of course. Anger won't stay there all the time but you don't know how painful it is to me when nobody ever think I'm exist. By telling and sacrificing everything, people just won't see. Tell me where I've been wrong. You guys said nothing. Then why I don't deserve to be part of yours?

The feelings of trying so hard to shine up is fading. People just can't see me. I might sounds like an old shadow in your life. I may means nothing to people. Even if they do, I really doubts of their appreciating. My objective is not to be known. I'm just feeling a bit blue, when people don't appreciate what I'm trying to do. No matter how I want something works, people are just playing around & being full time jerks. It's true I'm not pretty. True the world don't know me. True I'm not social. True I'm just normal. True I'm not special but why don't people at least give me the chance to shine up? Maybe I don't belong here. Or..

Why don't I turn to be invisible instead?

Never thought in my mind

2011-06-05T22:46:00.002+08:00

Here's some shouts of me & one of my close friend. No matter what race, what age, what gender he is, friendship, that's all I must say.

"Hey, you still tak answer me"

"Answer what?", he asked.

"The question?"

"What ques?", he asked some more.

Hands were shaking. I typed slowly. "Don't you miss me?", bite my lips. Knowing the answer will be no.

Waiting patiently for a reply. Saw the "... is typing" icon..

"Wait keluar makan. Online balik about 10.30". I just know it the answer is no.

"EEEEE no answer me first", desperately need an answer.

"YES", he said strictly. "okay dah bye", he said again.

*smiling widely* These was one of those moments I was waiting for. It was, perfectly made my night. Had a deal of not trying to see/ meet/ talk to each other in some datelines. I thought I could do that. Well uhh yeah me and my ego. Then realizing how perit the situation was, I surrender. Hate the fact that he actually knows I'm gonna surrender first, soon or later, yet he knows I will. He was right.

Told him, I was missing him. He just give the straight face look. Well you know, the -____- look. Durr of course who never thought this straight face look actually means to I miss you too? Hehe *giggling*

Are you ready fingers?

2011-06-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

Fully coming back again. Of course most of you noticed these blog has completely been forgotten by myself/ perhaps might be closing real soon. Indeed. That was the exact plan, but after knowing the life is about knowing the real you, something just clicked myself. I had tried so many things in so many ways but still, till now, I can't figure it out what's the specialities of mine. Some can just play piano just by hearing, some can write perfectly, some has a good brain in studies, some can took amazing snaps of photography, some are good in sports, some are born to be designers, but me? Never been figured.

Enough listing how great of humans these days are, I just can't even list one on what/ where I'm good at. I feel like a small ant, running here and there, saw a big packet of sweets, just giving a quite long stare. Saw the big ants running towards that big packet of sweets. Jumping happily. Bringing the big packets back home and having a party. Me? The small ant, coming home regretting. See. How complicated. Something inspiring me to write back, which is, knowing myself better.

I believed I'm good at something. There's must be. Like how I always related something with religion, in my case, Allah SWT created humans with something special. I believe there's must be something for me out there, it just that I didn't looking for it or the time is not coming now. Or maybe it was clearly in front of my eyes. Humans are blind sometimes. Might be I'm one of 'em. There's so much possibilites... Well, I believe. Insyaallah.

This, this Love

2011-04-19T01:27:00.001+08:00

(via Youtube)

Yuna; she's the best, afterall. I've been waiting this for so long! I really hope she will come up with more tutorial since I look dead horrible in Hana Tajima's style. She & Hana, these two beautiful ladies have just brought up the new Muslimah into a new generations. I salute them. They rock the most \m/

What a beautiful Day

2011-04-19T01:21:00.001+08:00

SEE THE DIFFERENCE? Well I don't think you can see the differences though, I haven't upload pictures of mine for so long! Hehe so anyway, got myself a new glasses. It's in purple & yes with Hello Kitty cover. Hotness. So cute isn't it? No, I'm not Beliebers, if that's in your mind.. but purple look cute though. I'm wearing the new glasses now. I feel like a new me. New Nurin. New life. Hahaha ok that's sounds dramatic. But seriously, never felt this clear, you know, new glasses without hacks and everything. Everytime seems so clear now. Hoho, watch out. I might spot everything on you! :>

In the other side, Mid-Term is in a month away. ASDFGHJKL. Need to catch up as soon as possible. Form Four is a nice year. No kidding. I seriously love this year but once missed a class, looks like I missed the whole thing. Easy to say, hard way to do. Alhamdullilah, I scored 7A's 2B's for the last test so that means I have to keep myself maintain. Which is, there's no way to play around.

Thus, I forced myself w some life's rules I did for myself.

Tak boleh makan, if tak study.
Tak boleh keluar, if tak study.

So far, it went well but you know, some rules are made to be broken. Hehehe :P Somehow, I know I will break the rules (this is so me). I know myself much better than anyone else. But still. I need to focus & try not to. Let's see if I could do this. Right?

Deep down, there you Go

2011-04-19T00:53:00.001+08:00

I wasn't surprised if any of you out there had ever lose a friend. I mean, not in tragic way (accidents etc. etc.). I guess everyone had experienced it in their way right? Fighting over something. Jealousy. Ego. I don't want to bring this matters up, but all over happened all this while, deep down in my heart, I had enough. But who was I again, I'm human. I didn't planned all. Who wants to be in that shoes, on the first place?

Losing the trust or in fact, losing a friend sounds nothing to you but to me, it is. How I wish I could define how hurt the feelings are. The feelings knowing a friend who thought they could know me better, instead they took for granted. Mean right? Yeah.

Truth to be told, some things I'll be rather to be shared with guys than girls. No, I'm not being hypocrite or something but I'm a hard person. Like, real hard. I'm not an out going person, it took a long time for me to gain trust for someone. Yes, I'm that hard. WHY? Because ..

I had enough of being used.
I had enough with all these dishonest friendship. Sad, but true.

Grrr

2011-04-16T02:51:00.001+08:00

Oh. Lord. Nike. For. Ever. Hell. Yeah.

Can't stop staring at 'em. Shitznitz. Buy for me please.

(Picture via Tumblr)

Comeback

2011-04-16T02:23:00.000+08:00

Hey there lost-contact-readers, HOW ARE YOU? I've been missing a lot of things & yes, I feel left out too as usual. I'm back for good with brand new layouts, brand new hopes, brand new everything. Goodness. Where was I? February? When was that, two months ago? I bet some of you were waiting for my updates. Well practically I actually know who has been clicking my page all this while :B Guess all the waiting are worth, isn't it?

It wasn't easy for me to force myself to write again. I tell you what, I've been signed in blogger like uncountable times but still don't have the guts to write. The feelings, the desires, it just wasn't right. It's true after knowing some relatives of mine/Hazeeq are reading my page practically loose lil bit my desire for a blog, afterall, who was I again, I was born to write! ;) My mojo blog is coming again.

So hey, get ready for the real attack from me! *winks

Chocolate Dreamy~!

2011-02-22T00:00:00.002+08:00

You never knew how much I've been craving for DESSERTS. My throat been tasting puddings, chocolate cakes, cakes, cakes, strawberry cakes, cakes, cakes, ice cream. Blerghhh so I actually asked my friends if they're free to accompany me to Secret Recipe or anywhere else, as long as I could eat some desserts. BUT unfortunately, as usual my friends are so busy. I wish I could drag Hazeeq honestly.

As a payback, I went to Mydin to buy some stuffs and BAKE CHOCOLATE CAKE by myself. Hah I'm desperate liddat. Well maybe you wondered why I could go out to Mydin to buy stuffs rather than buy cakes from Secret Recipe. That's because, tak sedap lah nak makan cake sorang sorang, pastu beli one slice, tak worth it nya!

So yeah, hehehe. Here it goes!

YES. Be jealous.

Proud to say it was my first time try and taste very good! (Puji diri nampak) But seriously, it does. It tastes so good, I thought it's gonna taste horrible. Give a big applause for me lah :D Well, a little help by Ajie & Kekda too!

March test is coming in SIX DAYS and here I am depressing in front of the screen. God. I really hope I do well. Form Four wasn't a tough neither easy year, it just a so-so but once you didn't came, you just lost like 100000x ilmu. I've been skipping school like four days or something? Count berapa ilmu dah hilang! Tu lah malas lagi. By the way, Hazeeq's coming back from NS in three weeks. Exactly right after my March test. Hah miss him loads. Nuff said.

Awesomeness of February

2011-02-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

Hectic life, I apologized for the late thoughts. I've been always saying this because I want to make sure you guys know I'm NOT leaving the blog hanging (although I had tell you "imma delete blog soon" or maybe from rumors, just don't believe them) I just have to compete the time to proceed some posts, so I guess the waiting are worth for. Sounds like I'm not gonna let you guys down huh?

Don't worry this time Imma tell you an awesome/unexpected story of mine. As usual, I always love February. You know why? You know why? Because I believe it's a month of fun, a month of love and a month of cool people born on it. Hahahahahahaha okay maybe some of guys knew my real birthdate, which is on 14th Feb = Valentine's Day. (Hah now you see why I say it's a month of cool people born on it hahaha!)

Don't get me wrong, I don't celebrate Vday as how it doesn't give any sense. If you wanna show your love towards someone, you can show it anytime, why should've A DAY to prove your love right? True? No offense. I'm saying this as point in my side, includes that we're forbidden to celebrate the day in Islam, so I hope that anyone didn't get hurt or something?

BACK TO THE MAIN POINT. So yeah my birthday was on last Monday, and I'm bloody 16 now 8) So proud of being 16. Yeah, the feelings just came liddat, the awesomeness of 16 is such a great feeling, I swear! My day was just went okay, went to school > coccuriculum > watch tv > replied wishes at FB. More than 130 people wished me on Facebook, I'm touched :') So my day well spent.

On the next day, 15th of Feb (public holiday) my dad & me went to Pavillion as he wanted to buy me a new wristwatch as a birthday gift. Just two of us & that was for the first time. That was really awkward, I must say. My siblings are so busy so I have no choice, looks like it's Abah & Me Day. Got myself a Juicy Couture's wristwatch which cost for tenenenene, cannot be revealed. Hahahaha!

Then walked around the Pavillion & then back back home. I assumed that's all for my birthday. All I just have to wait is, the night where I'm going having family dinner to celebrate my birthday. BUT BUT, yeah I was wrong... Reached home and I opened the door ......

SURPRISE!!

Then, (insert the Allah Selamatkan Kamu songs here).

I could see my friends like 30 people, my siblings, my family & their friends.

I swear all in my mind was like GOD EVERYONE'S LYING ME, SEMUA TIPU OMG OMG !@#$%^&*()_+ *blush* Seriously I didn't expect this at all. First, ok my siblings said they're busy but now they were there. Some of my friends can't hangout w me because personal reasons & then they were there? Everything was like .. very unexpectedly. I didn't knew at all these. There's no clue. Such a GREAT and clean plan and thumbs up everyone who came & surprise me. I'm all the way touched, and have no words to say!!

The minute I opened the door and entered house, I was like... shaking and lost of words. Blush all the way. MALU SANGAT TAU SEBENARNYA. Rasa macam dah tertipu but I swear, it was great :')

Embarrassing moments. This is when I opened the door .. LAWL.

10 / 10 for those who works on the decorations! I LOVE IT SO MUCH ♥

Orang-orang kuat menipu saya. Sampai hati! Hahahahaha!

That's how the day went :-)

Thousand thank to the masterminds, friends who spend their time, Mak for spending all this, Abah for taking me to Pavillion just to bawak lari me, siblings who works on decorations & cooks, Kekda also. Bestfriends, friends, everyone who came, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'm very speechless, I don't know how to balas budi but I can promise our friendship can be lasted long! Hah. Two years straight kena surprise -.- I felt so lucky, so thankful & greatful. I love this feelings like 10000000x and I wish the time could stay, but hah, all is great memories :')

The best birthday ever in my life. Love you guys.

P/S: Pictures credits to Syaza Nurliyana & Akmal/Ili. Nice pictures guys.

Rewind, wind wind wind.

2011-02-11T14:58:00.001+08:00

Let's back to January for awhile okay? I already missed January. Well as if that you want to know. My dad bought a new brand car for us, it's and Alphard v6 in black colour (do you search now hehe). Obviously me, OMG wait, I think the whole family were very excited. The car is big, totally big. Bigger than Naza Ria, we literally ran here & there! Opened this & that! LOL sorry we just can't help ourselves hehe.

A day after we received the car, Mak decided to take all of us to a day trip to Perak. JUST FOR THE SAKE OF TRYING OUT THE NEW CAR. How cool my mum is?! We actually went for lunch at Yik Mun Restaurant, the famous pau in Malaysia. I could say that I have a different taste like everyone, I'm fussy, I do judge on foods I ate, but yeah the pau isn't that nice. It is nice, it's soft but the taste was kinda *thumbs down* Instead of driving/testing the car just for PAU, we also tried some meals.

You never knew how dying I am for looking good foods that time o.O It such a so-so tasted.

Enough with the January. Let's get forward to February, Hazeeq finally got his 5 days off from National Service due CNY celebrations. He came back on the 2nd of February in the morning and straight away take me out. We actually spend our time around 3 hours 30 mins together. LOL JYEAH I COUNTED. Eventho it's not really a long date but well I had so bloody fun. I survived one month without seeing him! How great is that?

Since I've never been to Penang, so family decided on holiday trip to the North on the next day. We never had our full-family trip since 3 years ago (mostly because my older sister wasn't around) So head to Penang and stayed at Hard Rock Hotel. Oh my god. Hard Rock Hotel is such a nice place ever :') (semua bende nice place ever aku ni hahaha) I couldn't say much. Penang was nice!

It wasn't nice as Damansara./KL or whatever, the weather is hot, but anyone who need some peace, I recommended you guys to be there and have fun at Hard Rock Hotel! The best hotel I ever had so far.

Had my first time Nasi Kandar, had my first time boat, had my beach moments as well. I miss beach. The last time I went to a beach, back when I was in Form Two, with my friends, at the Klang (which is the beach wasn't nice as this). Oh God :")

Just got the chance to sleep at Hard Rock Hotel for one day due the cost for a room is quite expensive but at least there goes the experience! Next, head to Kedah > Perlis > Kedah on the next day. Went here and there. You know that I'm so lazy to write all those stuffs. Hek but oh wells, I had fun :")

P/S: In hurry, didn't get the chance to edit some pictures. Sorray.

SERIOUSLY? SORRY?

2011-01-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

Ok seriously sorry for not updating oh my god. Ok ok ok yes *nodded* I realized I break the rules of #2 to not-lefting-the-blog-hanging-and-keep-updating-no-idea-how-short-it-is-gonna-be. So yeah enough with the sorry though, it's not even the first time I'm doing this. I've been doing this since.. you know since when. Since the last year? Where was I anyway? 12 days ago? Almost two weeks right?

Uw. Let me start with my high school days. I had mentioned about myself getting into Engineering Drawing class. I had terribly trouble on the second week where the teacher asked us to draw two images WITHOUT teaching single thing. Been figuring almost one week "How to draw? How to draw?". Time tu pulak tetibe rasa macam tak layak masuk class ED. But that night, the night I was suppose to sent those two drawings on next day, I figured it out how to draw and finished it on time. I swear I feel like I'm the happiest girl on earth that night. Came to school, send the drawings. And.. get another 10 IMAGES TO DRAW as homework. Include Peka report of Chemistry, memorize some Physics equations, Maths exercises, History notes and exercises, English and the hell of Add Maths.

Just giving you the imagination that Form 4: Not a honeymoon year. It's proven. Never had "Yay, no homework for today!" Every single day, I'm getting at least two homeworks. That's the only minimum I could say? Anyway, did I say that I'm not going to skip my co-curriculum? Well, actually I did. I skipped once BUT with good reasons though so hehehe still haven't break the rules. (Accidentally did some rules in my daily life to make sure everything goes well, hopefully) (But well, I think I will break the rule anytime *slap head*)

SCHOOL HOLIDAY FINALLY BEGINS. We deserve a quite long of break from homeworks!

Proud to say Hazeeq's coming back home due CNY holidays on 2nd-5th of February. Finally finally finally. Been waiting this moment since the first day he's leaving to National Service! I survive almost one month without him :B Time flies so fast kan? Can't believe it, two months to go then everything will came back as usual. Miss him a lot x!

New, New, New and Newww

2011-01-16T12:26:00.000+08:00

Truly sorry for late thoughts, the battery charger for laptop didn't working which the reason why am not updating. LOL anyway, I'm doing good. Really good. I admit I was afraid & scared when I've been announced as one of the 4 Omegarians. Who wouldn't? I hafta deal with the new class, new classmates, new teachers, new subjects, new environment. I survived the second week! It went well, I must say :-)

Homeworks are countless. I haven't finish up mine either. Every teacher came to my class been telling like hundred times that Form 4 is not a honeymoon year. YES WE TOTALLY GET IT. It just annoyed when everyone's telling the same thing, I mean, yes I got your point but you don't have to tell it every single time o.o So 4 Omega is kewl class, this might be too early but I think I just have greatest classmate ever..? Lol yeah. Some of my friends had to move to another class, which that means my class now officially only an Engineering Drawing class, no more combinations of Bio. Lil bit sad but that's for the best right?

Get myself into Pencinta Alam Club, Bowling Club & Kadet Bomba. Holly yeah, I promise to myself to be an active students (as if that would happen). Been telling the same thing last year, but I didn't make it at all. Hahahaha okay okay I promise on the name of Upside Down, I'll attend to every co-curriculum activities unless there's excluded. Sports Day will be held at school and in JUNE, pretty sad. Heard that it supposed to be held at Stadium but looks like the school didn't make it. I honestly would make it that happen on my senior year!

A Long Week is Here

2011-01-07T17:46:00.003+08:00

School had this F4's orientation where all of us had to sit on the floor for FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT. First day is okay, so does on the second day. But starting third day, we all are getting.. tired and bore. Everyone was like rather talking each other and get mad by the teachers instead of listen to the talks. When reached the fourth day, we all cannot take it anymore. Our butts are sore, our ears are tired, our back hurts. I really need ass massage, I am serious. How can you survive sat on the floor for four days straight man??!!! I ... can't.. feel .. my butt.. seriously I just lost my butt sense.

Fifth day of school, which is today, turned out to be fine. We finally got arranged into streams & classes. Thank God, after so long! It's pretty a long journey, I must say. Friend from other school updating Facebook & Twitter already started their lessons, heard about Add Maths and stuffs, I am so jealous! Anyway, I applied for Sub Science: Engineering Drawing. Alhamdulillah I got into 4 Omega which a combination class of Pure Science & Sub Science. The diff is only on Engineering Drawing & Biology and by the time, we have to split classes.

I'm very happy if you ask :-) Who wouldn't? Although Syaza & Adlina took Biology but still, we're in the same class. I'm a happy girl on earth right now. I'm with my friends except Nabila & Amaniena but that wouldn't gave so much impact bcus we're still hanging out during recess. The only disadvantage is 70% of the class are boys. You got my point there. I really hope I can fit in and focus. I'm hoping so bad.

I'm scared I cannot handle all these things but cry won't help me even once. I just have calm down and try all the best. 8 subjects are tough but oh well, 9 subjects are even tougher! I'll try study even harder and smarter and always pray to God. Thought of add on one more subjects, Art but it all depends on how I did on my mid-year test. If I couldn't handle all those 9 subjects, a big no for Art though.

Hazeeq went to National Service last Sunday, it has been almost a week. A bit tough when he's not around because he used to advices me what's good & bad in life. We're still keep contact each other, he took all the risks brought extra phone. I know -.- Naughty naughtyyy ty ty ty boy, but what to do! Hehehe.

Till then Upside Down's readers.

In The Middle of Junction, I see you

2011-01-03T18:25:00.004+08:00

This morning, the minute I entered the school's gate, all I can see is new faces. The F2 students from evening session, and now they're the next PMR candidates. I felt so lost. I don't know.. where I'm going? LOL yes.. then there's the assembly as usual and the teachers talk about Form Threes and surprisingly, yes, I thought I was still in Form Three, and yet I am still considering myself as Form Three. Looks like I got used to it huh?

I just can't believe I'm actually in so-called-honeymoon-year. Even the teachers got used to call us Form Threes! See! That wasn't the worst part anyway. Worst part is when you couldn't see those ex SPM takers. Every each part in that school, I know, who's going sit there, and there, and there. It's like I know that used to be their spots before! But now.. they're gone. They leave highschools. All I can see is them, in my mind. (Sorry I really cannot control my imaginations :s)

I kinda missed the part where I usually wait for Hazeeq near the school gate. Miss the part where the Form Fives used to be sat beside me. Who wouldn't? To be frank, I really can tag along all those ex Form Fives other than this year's batch. It's not that I wasn't being friendly, but you know.. every friendship needs chemistry. But there goes the challenge for me this year. I really have move on, they're not coming back. In fact, soon, I'll be leaving school too. This is how exactly juniors felt towards me too. Right?

:-)

First day of school turned to be good! I mean, it wasn't that bad yknow. Of course everyone feels it's kinda boring, sit at dewan half of the day and then get into classrooms but still, did nothing. All we do is TALK TALK TALK EAT EAT EAT TALK. The only thing I hate about today is, the teachers actually haven't arrange us YET. So we practically don't know which stream are we.. all we have to do is, wait.

Tomorrow's the day where my school got this Kerjaya Test for all Form Fours. In case that we're not sure on which stream we should be choosing, the test will reveal what's good or beside that. I don't know if I'm the only who's surprise over here, but the school really have to do this like BEFORE we send the forms. It's like everyone already decide but .. there's a test then the students got confuse.. Oh well, school =.=

Back to School!

2011-01-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

Iron school uniform. Check.

School stationeries. Check.

Bag & books. Check.

Fill out Form 4's form. Check.

.. the journey of Form Four begins .. NOW. Happy schooldays! :-)

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T00:55:00.002+08:00

As how as everyone's celebrating NYE in Curve/KLCC or where ever you go, I thought that I'll be sitting in the room, watching everyone posting Happy New Year all the way flooded the recent news. But guess what? No.. I can't remember how does it happened but it was really a last minute plan. Hazeeq's friends made some NYE BBQ. Hazeeq fetch me after maghrib and straight away to DPuncak where I could see his friends busy with the BBQ stuffs and most important thing is, I could see one of THE BEST VIEW EVER in my entire life. The memories & eyes are the proof that I could see KLCC and the lights of the city from here, Shah Alam. Yes, awesome right? Glad I'm living in Bukit Jelutong or else I dun even get this opportunity.

Obviously I'm sad Kakak borrowed my camera so I didn't get the chance to shoot anything, while Hazeeq didn't bring his. In fact that Hazeeq's leaving on 2nd Jan for those damn PLKN, I really spend my time with him. Talk talk talk eat eat eat talk talk talk talk and the clock reached 11.30pm, Mak keep calling and asked when I'm going back home. I decided to back home early before the fireworks. Seriously Mak was being so worried. I was doing perfectly fine tau actually haha. But I didn't blame her though, who doesn't worry her 15-years-old daughter is not home at 11.30pm?! Well, if I was my mum, I'll do the same thing.

Get myself home and took a shower. I practically celebrated my new year in the toilet without any cloths on! Haha LOL! I'm happy at least I actually got the chance to spend a bloody time with someone I care altho I missed the fireworks..... yet, I'm having the best new year celebration ever, so far :') Thousand of thanks for Hazeeq who really made my day and so does his friends with those damn delicious foods!!

EPIC MOMENT EVER

2010-12-31T14:42:00.001+08:00

I was the one who said NYE is really nothing because at the end, every year is just same as last years. Apparently, I woke up this morning, with full of regret-ness. I proof you that I was actually wrong. 2010 has such a good year, at least to me. I just can't believe that everything is REALLY changing in after next 11 hours. I have no idea why before this I'm being so I-don't-give-a-damn-about-new-freaking-year but here I am, regretting? (I don't really find a suitable word haha) Maybe it's true I was little bit down when I see the results slip and feels like my whole entire life after this will destroy.. Oh God. I just dunno why I've been so paranoid over here but I FINALLY realized all those things happened is just only the beginning.

So let's flashback shall we?

Back where 2010 started, I was worried because it was the year where I'm having PMR year while Hazeeq's in his last year of highschool. We totally afraid that everything will be falling down from what we have just started. Guess now, a big relieve! I swear we really have to go through hard times. How about friends? Yes, without them my life's of course is an empty heart. Every person that had came into my life, had give in such a good impact :')

Wait.. wait.. Yes I'm suppose to flashback! So here's shortcut of flashback, PICTURES! Haha

Early year. I always love early year, all the fun is here :-) Mercury 4eva!

I still remember this, it's on 12th Feb. The moment where I surprised Farah's bday, suddenly Hazeeq came out with roses to surprise me. It was actually two surprise plans since my bday 2 days after Farah and I won't be around here, in BJ. (Tu lah konon nak surprise bday kawan, ter-surprise diri sendiri, padan muka kat diri jugak). On my bday, Abah brought all of us ze family to Genting! Best birthday I ever had, so far :")

First time Archery! Dammit! Heaven.

Made our-first-time-cookies for Hazeeq & bought rings. One for me & one for him. Epic moments! Haha! So the plan was I wanted to put the box of cookies in his table desk but turned out that it was Teacher's Day. Everyone's not allowed to come into class .. and sit at the tapak perhimpunan .. So I gave him face to face. No surprises, saddddd kaaaaan!

Hari Keusahawanan. MESSED UP LIKE HELL. I swear this is the moment where everyone fed up with everything. I swear I don't feel like I'm coming -.- But after looking back those pictures, glad I came & helped my class atho we didn't proceed as much as other class, but I had so much fun :")

Love this picture to death! Thanks Syafa. It's surprise bday boy~

I swear there's like A LOT of pictures and I'm kind of lazy to upload but hell yeah. 2010 wasn't the best year I ever had because it end with little bit emotional but I'm really glad everything had happened. As much as I hate how sucks this year, but part of me letting 2010 go, it's kinda hard. But what to do, time's running. Slowly.. slowly.. I'm getting sixteen.. then... SPM... then college.. oh for real, I want it to stay!

Everyone had ended up with new years resolutions, so my new years resolutions for 2011 is to complete all the past years resolutions. Is it okay? >) Happy New Year to everyone!

Ooooo?

2010-12-28T22:15:00.004+08:00

Ya Allah. The more I tried my best, the more I won't get it. I am tired of trying. I really hope Allah listens to my prays. I really do. I dowwan to say " life's so unfair " because it will turned that I wasn't being grateful over here but.. wish you were in my shoes. I swear, it hurts. I wish those teardrops could stop. Allahuakhbar. I'll try some more, sesungguhnya dugaan yang telah kau berikan adalah menjadi diriku lebih tabah. Allah.

Sincerely from dearly blog owner, Nurin.

Stress is Over

2010-12-28T00:25:00.000+08:00

The proof that I'm getting better.
I'll train myself every weekend. Yes. No? YESSSSS I WILL

P/S : One of my kittens died, with black grey-ish colour. Al-Fatihah.

Decisions Decisions!

2010-12-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hi. Miss me?

Guess where am I missing? Mhmm. Yes, I might took a long break to cure myself but hey it's lie if I say I'm feeling okay. Obviously I'm not. Everywhere and everytime I go everyone's asking how well I was doing on my results. The hardest part is when I'm not even answering the questions everyone will go " HEY MESTI STRAIGHT KAN ". Isn't that is clear enough that everyone's expecting high hopes on me? I feel deep down hurt. I shook and about to say my results... " OH WAIT, I KNOW. TAKPE, 7A'S IS STILL A GOOD RESULTS ". You see? How am I suppose to handle this situation? I'm not even started my sentence yet pun tau >( This is truly hurt. I swear I could feel it that every each person in this house expecting more than that.

But oh well, cut everything what you have just read above, because I'm feeling very good now.

Yes Alhamdullilah. The only reason I'm having headache right now is, I don't know if I should go for Bio or LK? Anyone please do answer me. It's true that I didn't go well in Science, it's only a B but overall my results can pass those two streams. I bet everyone's asking about occupations & stuffs cus this decisions is one of the key of future. Frankly speaking, I DON'T KNOW. It's true I wanna be a good housewife bcus that's the most loving job I've been thinking so far. Other than that, I don't know?!

I wanna be a photographer. I wanna be a pianist. I wanna be an architect. I wanna be a wedding planner. Oh wait, the best part is Hazeeq wanted me to be an animal doctor! Laugh of loud. That haven't reach my mind yet to be an animal doctor. But..... now I'm started to think about it.

But hey it's not really a big deal right?! I think I'll be going for anything I can go with. Wish me all the best and I could make a right decisions. I'm over it. School's coming back in 7 days which really reminds me to shop for new uniforms, new shoes, new scarfs + others. I haven't buy anything yet... true story, I'm not ready for Form Four. It's kinda stressful. Banyak sangat subjects kan?! >(

.. what a sad story, I know.

I Dun Know What I Feel LOL

2010-12-24T03:18:00.001+08:00

Blergh of course few of you (well I don't know if I really have readers) are guessing on how my PMR results will be. Alhamdulillah eventhough it is AIYO, never thought in my mind I'm getting this. To be truth, the moment I see and hold my results I feel .. okay & very satisfied but after hearing all my friends scores, I swear I feel terrible and disappointing about myself. Hahaha I know macam poyo je lebih kan but serious! It's like the minute you feel okay then on the next minute you feel everything's fcked up. Yeah but back then someone's really proud of me. Yes, only a person ok. How gr8.

I had twice told that at least getting 5A's are okay. Expecting for six. Hahahaha. Only five okay God. The rest are B's. Part of me, I'm proud but yeah whatever. I should stop writing seriously -.-

So right after results, went to Empire/Subang Parade with my girls than met Asyraf. And seriously sorry to Nabila & Adlina because you guys had to handle seeing us HOLDING / CHECKING / CALLING / REPLYING & BBM-ing everyone. Sorry there's no way, it vibrating non stop! Hehehe. Then felt sleepy, and nap is the only thing came in my mind but reached home, all those sleepy moments was pretty lies. Tetibe tak ngantuk plak ok. That's all fer todaaaaay. Penatnya

It's Coming!

2010-12-22T23:15:00.001+08:00

Big day is coming tomorrow. I'm not freaking out, to be truth. I'm not scared, I'm not even feel like going to school and pick up the results. I feel like... everything already done. LOL ok I sounds like a jerk over here. I maybe lil bit nervous inside but hey, I'm really thankful & just go with flow. No matter how bad it is, I already tried my best right?

I'm now completely exhausted replying thank you. I just don't get it why everyone's wishing me good luck while the results are seriously already printed out. But anyway, thanks a lot for spending your time & wishing me, and yes of cos I'm flattered over here! & hey this is special for Khairina, thanks my dear for wishing me through your blog. You'll definitely score a good results, I believe in that :-)

I technically asked my mum not to take a day leave, just for me. Because if the results is bad, I'm scared to watch her disappointed face. Or what if, she cried? You know.. seeing your mum cry.. about you. That's gonna be a really bad thing. Unless it was tears of joy, then takpa lah, selalu lah amalkan en.

I'm really having a bad headache & I seriously think I need to take some rest. In fact I'll be waking up early tomorrow. Best of luck to Form Three's. My advice is to everyone who think they're kind of regret, JUST DON'T CRY AT SCHOOL! :-P My second advice is, hoping and expecting is a different thing, so be careful. Lastly, just bring a packet of tissue!

P/S : I think I have an issue on what I'm going to wear! D:

Part of The Family

2010-12-21T00:04:00.002+08:00

Beware of this post because you guys will starting to say "awww" "omg" "comelnya!" "this is so cute" or the worst part, DROOLING. Ready?

So I'm kinda happy today. I woke up earlier than the alarm clock should be rang, then I had a rotini pasta cabonara for breakfast. Ketam masak lemak cili api (peh) in lunch. What chu waiting for? I'm a happy girl right here :} Okay that's not the point. I did something productive today, I took my cats' pictures! The photoshoot went okay.. until I realized they haven't send to vet yet this month. Yes.. the tiny germs obviously came inside my body and my body started itchy for few minutes. I get used to it, I wouldn't mind. I believed I don't have any cats allergy or sort of.

Let me present my cats.

This is Carl. I don't know how old is he. So quite lately. He needs ladies for entertainment. Like, FOR REAL. He's the man yo, every man needs a woman in his life. LOL

Laling, hot young mama. Used to be Carl's wife & now she's hooked up with Bob. LOL still loving Carl, I guess. He deserve Carl better than Bob. But Kekda nak sangat genetic baru katanya, konon nak campur kucing ni dengan kucing tu, nanti anak dia jadi WOW. Pftt... moving on.

This is an old picture. Just realized I haven't took his picture bcus he's having his meal on photoshoot. Damn you boy. He's Bob by the way. He's a real man. He loves to flirt. He flirts me too. Reaaaaaaallllyyyyy.

Dolly. Spoiled girl. I guessed it was my bad giving too much love, so she turned out to be very fierce. Semua takut kat dia lah senang cerita! Sampai vet pun pegang dia guna sarung tangan. She's a mama now! Giving birth three days ago & turned be VERY nice. Didn't give any reaction when we tried to distract her. Dah jadi mak agaknya.

Donat. One of my favourite! I totally love him. Lil bit sad because rarely playing with him for few months past because I'm focusing on my PMR. So yeah, he's lil bit naughty without me around. I think he forgot me too. But oh well, here's the time. Let's play togethaaaaaa!

This is Dolly's children. Just born three days ago. Haven't decide any name for them. Say hello to the world kittens! =) Oh god. I looooooooooooove kittens!

Supposed to have another cat, a persian and his name is Odie. Now he's with God. I really hope he will be doing fine :'( But oh well, nothing else we can do. This is hooooow the story ended.

What A Surprise

2010-12-18T00:25:00.000+08:00

Just found out yesterday that my lover is actually reading my blog FROM THE START (... since two years.. ago? seriously? wow..) which is obviously surprised me a lot. I am dead speechless. I must say, he's seriously different. I know he's not reading type & seriously never came in my head that he'll be reading.. Well, but there you go, Hi! *waves* You're invited to come and read all these crappy stuffs written by your girlfriend, don't close! Remember that, you can come here anytime and always hehe

So anyway, some little things are still remain the same. Bad. But, I really should start appreciate things and whatever that comes ahead. Life's a dark road, we never really knew what's come ahead. LOL I picked that from Barney HIMYM Season 1. I'm proudly to say I'm now HIMYM fan! Just finished episodes from Season 1 and now I'm downloading Season 2. I really need to catch up seriouslyzzzz!

I was planning to buy a complete pack sessions of Friends, one day. I miss watching Friends. The first & last time watching Friends was like two years back. Wow! Ok gonna put this on my wishlists :B

So it's confirmed that results will be coming out 23rd. Glad that I knew it earlier! Everyone's nervous. I am not..........yet. Maybe later but seriously I haven't reach the nervous level yet because all over in my mind was What-Should-I-Do-Today. I'm so looking my friends for doing something crazy stuffs & historical one day before results day but turned out most of my friends can't make it. Yes lah orang ambik results korang pegi holiday, bagus.

Having massive headache like whole day, I really need some rest.

Things I Wanna Grab!

2010-12-17T23:46:00.001+08:00

Nike Air Feather High Women's Shoe
Canon EOS 60D + EF100mm f/2.8L Macro IS USM
Fisheye No.2 Lomography
Ed Hardy's Blackberry Cover
Women's White Blazer
Old School Bag in Purple-ish Blue

Kalau lah duit tu turun dari langit. Takpun duit tu macam daun kat pokok *sighs*

Cries

2010-12-14T20:38:00.000+08:00

I swear, only God knows how pain it is //

You Suck Everyone Suck This Sucks

2010-12-12T16:22:00.002+08:00

Am not having PMS and never got my period since two months past, but here I am, with this cranky, mad & moody feelings. I feel so blah. I feel like so lost. I lost my confidence, I lost in faith, I lost in everything! I don't see those shiny bling bling on me. I don't see the lights infront of me which that means I'm literally LOST. I'm in situation where I cannot think where I should depending myself, looking whats in future & what I'm referring to.

Yes.. I had mentioned that holidays is getting better but.. not this week. This whole entire week is seriously the worst. I'm dying~ *gasping for air* *inhale* *exhale* *die* . I had no idea why these feelings occurred all of sudden but I'm pretty sure that I've losing my mind thinking too much. OVERTHINK is the word. No doubts, I'm thinking too much sometimes.Way way too much. Results is coming out in 11 days, which perhaps the reason why I'm kinda stressed up & messed up & screwed up! Oh God, chill Nurin chill. Everything's going to be fine. Easy easy, take a deep breath! *sighs*

Okay... have you ever in situation where you wanted to do something enjoyable, something surprise or something awesome in your life but something can't let you do it? Well, sadly to say, I'm in that situation. What I need right now is, JUST LET ME DO WHATEVER I WANNA DO. Let me go & do those adventures thing. I love adventure. I love outdoor activities. But you see, whatever I wanna do, something can't let me in. You know how do I feel? FUCKIN FRUSTRATED

Please don't let me tell my kids one day "My teenage life was a total bitch" please oh please! *pray*

I admit I really have to struggle so much things on things that I wanted. I cried a lot! Lols yes sometimes the cries really good but all those pressure, I cannot stand it anymore. Why it is so hard? Someone please stop the world. Maybe the best part in this life is I can stand all these matters without any fight occurred.

Well the worst part is, jealousy automatically arrives when I, myself see anyone else can do something awesome without any struggle. It's like .... LIFE IS SO UNFAIR. Yes I'm overthink & overreact or whatever you say. Maybe it's true, I need to do something. I cannot sit, relax & wait.

Expressing this into words may let the half of satisfactions go, but the other half is, you whoever you out there, feels what I've been talked about. Indeed.

Whatever I Wanna Say

2010-12-07T00:56:00.003+08:00

Die die die, don't laugh!

Watched Narnia:The Voyage of the Dawn Treader 3D last Sunday. Pretty disappointed if you ask. Went into cinema around 20 mins late, first time ever we're being late. No matter how late I'm going into the cinema, the storyline is still... expected & full of disappointment. Very predictable! Director, don't let me down anymore :( Had Nando's for dinner. On my way back to parking lot, pass the Bowling centre & I was up with the ideas "Main bowling nak jom?" . Everyone agreed. I was surprised my family actually agreed with my ideas for the very first time LOL

To be frank, this is my FIRST TIME EVER playing bowling in my entire life. Call me Noob. I don't care but my score is seriously very sad. I cannot stop laughing & rofl-ing. The proof is up there, picture above. Of course, 26 points is not enough & that's only for 3 hits. Mostly the balls went into longkang. THIS IS SAD. I feel so embarrassed at first but lil bit satisfied after then because it's my first time, so who cares? I will definitely play bowling later, yes of course. I need to insert some "bowling time" into my schedule. It is a must!

It has been a week (if I'm not mistaken) I deactived my internet service at phone. I thought I couldn't live without it but I was wrong. I am still alive but what is killing me right now is ...... boredom. Boredom kills. The minute everywhere I go I usually updated my FourSquare/Twitter/FB. I'm kinda lonely ya know. yes I couldn't agree some more that Blackberry looks very dull without internet. Very very dull and ugly. Looking up for good number from Celcom with reasonable prices, you guys can message me thru Facebook. No I am not joking, I am serious. Which is weird because sayang sebernanya kat Maxis ni lagi *sobsob

Not forget, I'm wishing Salam Maal Hijrah to all Muslims. We should be celebrating this instead New Year which is nothing, only a changing of date to 1 Jan back every year. While Maal Hijrah is the only way to make ourselves better & open a new book in ourlife instead open a new chapter. I, Nurin Abdullah will promise to be a better muslimah in myself, study hard, pray hard, stop cursing, stop being too jealousy & too emotional and of course, focus on what I'm planning ahead. Alhamdulillah :-)

Holidays is getting better, include that Hazeeq's 80% freedom. Good for him & good for me & good for both of us <-- Pointless. I don't know what I'm trying to say pun. Well, it's six minutes till the clock straight to one morning. I will definitely feeling good having Tutti Frutti right now, how I wish.

This Might Harsh But Whatever

2010-12-05T01:46:00.002+08:00

This false alarm about PMR results day is really getting on my nerves. It has been third or more times I've been heard about different dates of PMR results. Can't you guys just wait the news to come out? I'll be rather screamed out when it really announced in the news than hearing/reading the rumors.

First, you guys has just complicate the stories to our parents. Saying that results will be coming out earlier, and the parents will be thinking you guys are right & they have to extend the holidays. Isn't that is sad? SO WHAT KIND OF HOLIDAYS IS THAT?

Second, you scare everyone. And that's including myself -___-

The only best way is, if you're not sure, just shut the hell up. You don't have to tell others this & that. Told that either your parents, uncles, aunties, cousins, relatives work at the government. Pft I think you no need to swiz about that. Later on, the news will be coming out in TV too right? Ala imagine la, kalau results keluar tomorrow pun, it wasn't a big deal, there must be someone's telling you! What you have to do is, sit back, relax, tawakal & pray all the best :-) Unless you don't have TV, you don't have phone, you don't have Facebook, well back then, they goes the problem. But still, you can take the results next year!

Or..... maybe I was the only one who stressed out about this. Hahahaha!

December, You Came?

2010-12-05T01:12:00.003+08:00

Hello December, such a quick year we're having here ayte? Never thought it could be this fast. In fact, having this Not-Doing-Anything holidays are kinda sicken. My life was kinda wasted, just like that. Morning at eleven, sleep at two. This is pure boring! Was trying so hard to be lil bit productive, but nothing is really happening. Frankly speaking, I was up with many ideas, but with some money & little help with my friends, I guess everything will be awesome! :} But hello, where are you guyz my friends? It's unexplainable I must say, the minute we really our friends here, they're not here. But imagine when everything's okay, they are here and laughing our ass off. Yes I know I'm being lil bit emotional over here but don't you see the realities yet? It wasn't really expected as you can see in movies.

Holidays = When it comes, enjoy all the way. When it pass off, we have to struggle to get them back. Pretty hard isn't it?

Remember that I stated most of the activities I wanted to do after PMR involves Hazeeq? He has 4 papers left, lil bit relieved for him. It's true I WAS the one who worried about his studies, he was just playing around. But after all these while, I could see him being serious. I guess everything's pay off. I really hope he enjoy his teenage years. While me, I .. am .. still .. haven't .. enjoy .. my teenage years, I need to make up my decision really soon on which stream I choose next year & what I wanna be. Making up a decision is suck, I tell ya

Finally, get myself macaroons from here (Sarah, I hope you don't mind I'm promoting your site hehe) and of cos no regrets! It was awesome! It's little bit pricey but I guess it is worth it for ma second time. Dear Sarah, reduce the prices!!!!!! Along told about bouldering, I was drolling. I'm kinda interested on it. But bouldering need so strength & hands pressure and I am obviously suck on that (Push up buat sikit pun dah sakit) In the other hand, I should be started with rock climbing first :} Let's anyone?

Don't Tell Lies

2010-11-30T23:02:00.002+08:00

I believed it was pretty HARD for someone forgiving someone who had done so much impact into life. In the other way, destroy it. Well of cos none of us can run from those kind of fact. I had mine. It was unacceptable to me for a person come into my life, shared our thoughts, planned our days after PMR & you told us how much you hate your foster brother .. and now *sighs* you're pop, gone.

I can tell how much I don't mind if you had problems in your own, but it's really disgusting to see you're WITH those the one you USED to say " Ish I tak layan dia doh ". But hello, you're with them now? So that's your tak layan ke? Wasn't and am not being so jealousy over here, it is the person or this WORLD CITIZENS who shouldn't be so hypocrite. This is actually how a person appreciate FRIENDSHIP.

I was just GLAD you finally realized that you haven't seen me around these days. How great timing you find me & texted your feelings by saying sorry with those kind of smiley. Well, at least something just made you REALIZED. I'm happy enough but sorry little brother this world is full with difficulties. The difficulties is I need TIME to cure this feelings & reply your "sorry" text.

Or... is it just me who giving a trust too fast? Mhm.

A Month Where You'll Shout or Cry

2010-11-28T02:50:00.000+08:00

London: Early December '08

You know when it's about to December, trip to UK was always be the only thing in my mind. It was the best trip ever. Well maybe cus it was our first time & yet we didn't go anywhere ... anymore (maybe). Well I don't know, I'm not from a rich family though, where commonly they'll be going holiday for every year. Wowz, cut that. I am far from that. Maybe someday, Greece or LA perhaps? :D

Have you ever watched a movie called Ramona & Beezus? Seriously, why nobody tell me about this movie?! It was great, include that there was few cutties in there. It just made me cry. I felt stupid for letting my tears out but seriously, this movie just owned my heart! NO JOKE. I was just surprised that.. I cried. I recommended you guys to watch it. HELLO LIKE SERIOUSLY, I know most of you are bored to death, I dowwan to come to your funeral and asking how it happened and the answer is die of boredom. There goes the chances honeys.

By the way, if you can see my title. Hahaha yeah it's exactly a month til the day where results will be coming out. Of cus I'm scared..... ok can we skip? Beside that, it's like 35 days left to be a Form Four students. CRAP I feel old I feel old! You have no idea how it looks like when people starting to call me.. senior. Eeeeeeeeeiwww yuck. I feel like it was just yesterday I was a junior :(

Wait wait, the worst part is.. 35 days left to fill my holidays. Guhreat.

This Is Shizznit Man

2010-11-26T20:05:00.001+08:00

This is a beautiful piece from Yiruma. Dude, Yiruma FTW! I can't say much.. heard the song in Twilight but I didn't bother much since it wasn't in full version. But suddenly while I was searching something in youtube (around this week) and I found this! What a beautiful sounds of that?!!! Wait, hear other songs from Yiruma and I bet you can feel him. Feel his desire, his soul.
Started to play this video for like nonstop, I AM SERIOUS. This is just plan nice, I wanna play piano back pretty please. It's not just because of this song, that made me feel like playing piano back then I'll stop. No, I admitted I was stupid I was young, I can't think well.
Tears from Heaven, Joy Ode, Winter Sonata, Cover Songs. They drove me crazy.
I just found me in the piano. The other half of me. Well who knows, one day, in the newspaper NURIN THE FAMOUS PIANIST FROM MALAYSIA! Okay.. it sounds ticklish. Well really, yeah. Heh. Okay nevermind. Hahahaha. This is awesome shitz, enough said.

Everyone Hurts

2010-11-24T23:52:00.003+08:00

After all these while, I've just realized something. No matter who you are, how much attention you get,

but when you lost your hopes in love, you will finally FELL down deep heartbroken.

Well, I'm just saying. Everyone lose, everyone won. We're same, draw.

P/S - Anyway is it too late for me to give some kata kata semangat (haha) to those SPM-ers?
Well, good luck to those SPM candidates. Let everything out, rewind, EVERYTHING and do your best as you can. Glad to have you guys as seniors, so does out there. Best of luck x

Extremely Super Duper Awesome

2010-11-24T23:24:00.001+08:00

Shout Awards on the 20th, was the bomb. Cut the part where I couldn't breathe well due of smokers thought they owned this air. Fuckin' don't know how to appreciate their life. But nway, that's not the point. Shout Awards was great, definitely a great shout ever. My first time ever went an award thingy, it's rocking. So wondered who's taking the other ticket? NO ONE. The ticket wasn't burn though, gave to my sister's friend. The best so far~

Had a surprise party for Nabila on the following days, Monday. We're doing a clean job! Although had to go through the plans without the boys, Rushdan & others but like I said, we're doing a clean and a very good job. Nabila was surprised (I think) till she doesn't say anything. Thought that she doesn't like or something, and I tried to ask "How was it, how you feel" and stuffs. There was exactly NO WORD came out from her mouth and she finally spoke "Rasa nak nangis". Of cos I was glad! :D Went out to DBayu after then.

Went out to movie on the night. Guess which movie I chose? Harry Potter & Deathly Hallows of course. You never know how much I love magics! Well, yes I do but I didn't believe in magic though, since in Muslim we're not suppose to believe in it but .. It is a must watch movie! Forget about your daily routines, job as well, take a day off or anything, buy the tickets, sit back, watch and feel it. Honestly, I DON'T MIND TO SPENT ANOTHER 20MYR FOR WATCHING AGAIN! The second top of my Harry Potter series, still cannot beat Goblet of Fire (since hotty Viktor Krum was there ♥ hihi)

That's all how my days rolled nway :-)

This Just Made My Whole Day

2010-11-20T01:46:00.001+08:00

I was still in bed, lazy to wake up although the clock reached at 10am. Suddenly receiving a text message from boy about something not too good to be heard.

" Someone say you're not for me, frust "
" Sapa cakap? Wtf "
" Bukak FB, baca caption profile picture you "

I was blur and WHATS THE POINT to see the caption? Takkan orang kutuk pasal kita dekat caption gambar aku? o.O I thought he was talking about the comments, but tercakap caption. Pft but I didn't say much and rushed took the laptop beside me and open my Facebook.

Opened my Facebook... everything's changing. My default picture, my about me. Almost everything. I know it was boy's job. Definitely him, no one else will know the password other than him. He changed my default picture from my face to a picture of both of us. Then I quickly scroll down to see the caption and I saw this..

I was suprised. OH MY GOD, what do you think? I was just woke up and see this, why he's so sweet one?!!!! He is sweet & romantic. Well wait, SOMETIMES but this is still cute. After so long, I was waiting this boy to do something unexpected, now he finally did it. Well, you better open my Facebook and check it out by yourself. That was just made my day, yet, it still made my mood. I love you so much ♥ But yknow, he just hacked my FB (maybe we should cut that part ey? haha)

Well to be honest, this is my first time to reveal some love story of mine DIRECTLY in blog, I'm little bit shy actually. I'm afraid that people will say anything bad of me but after then, who are you to judge me right? It's a lie if you never fell in love with someone, and it's also a lie if you don't want to be loved. So I think it will be fine for you guys to be accepting the way I blogged, I expressed about love story of mine. No, I'm not trying to show off or something but seriously, I'm just SO happy as you can see.

Lets Shout Baby

2010-11-18T18:40:00.001+08:00

Estimated around a week ago, my third sister texted me that she got some free tickets to Shout Award and asked whether I wanted them too. I was little confused, I didn't know as if I took those tickets, means my parents could give the permissions. But without asking anything, I took the opportunity, two tickets. What did I do is, find a FRIEND. Posted some note about that on twitter, mostly everyone wanted to come along but they didn't have the chance to do. Some can't make it while others are so busy with their days after PMR.

Looking forward to drag Hazeeq but he'll be taking SPM in 3 days. SHOOT. Dayyum okay fine I give another tickets to my brother (but still waiting his answer hehe)

Then yesterday, on my way back to Shah Alam (from hometown) saw a tweet from Ahmad Izham Omar, the CEO of 8tv. He is totally giving limited VIP tickets to Shout Award, my siblings & I took the opportunity, email him (with diff account) & waited our results. He told that he hafta check them first, will be back to us on the next day. Since there, I thought the chances are very thin. Dude what are you thinking, he has like almost 11k followers at Twitter, obviously I'm not the only one who email him!

I was like "Its okay then, normal tickets also will do. But VIP tickets will be much better".

Guess what, around 2pm today he email-ed me back! I got two VIP tickets and... of couse I was suprised! He asked me to pickup the tickets before 4pm tomorrow. Thank you Ahmad Izham Omar! Well, to be frank, I didn't know it could be this EASY. I just have like.. to email & wait. LOL same goes to my other siblings, they got the tickets also. So right here, in this house, have like 8 tickets. How lucky! They'll bringing their friend of cos. While me, I'm still in dilemma though. I have like freaking 4 tickets over here!! And no friends want to tag along. What the eff. WHY YOU GUYS SO BUSY AH?

After then, it's coming in two days. What to wear? What to wear?!

Finally Back On Track!

2010-11-18T01:31:00.002+08:00

Hello guys. I'm finally back for good. To be frank, I just had some moments where I have to struggle with some stupid thinking of mine. I was lost til I can't do even anything and just wait... wait.. wait.. and cry. Stupid me but I managed to settle that down after three/four days. Yay me! Everything's getting okay at least. After what had happened, I must say that life's easy if you could handle it, but it would be definitely hard if you're too overlook. I learnt from my mistake.

Ahh ahh of cos starting now, I should be more careful of what I'm thinking and plus, what I'm about to say! I can be too honest sometimes :S I'm still worry about that though, not forget the jealousy level of mine. It is high. Ops! I should control it. Talk about Hajj & cows/camel/goats, I wish you guys Salam AidilAdha & have fun!

Obviously.. I owed you guys some stories. So here we go. Last 13th of Nov, Zahirah & me organised Year 6 students' Reunion. Alhamdulillah although we were having some misunderstanding/argued with some idiots (which I already forgiven yguys, see how nice?!) everything went well :') A very tiring day, enough said.

Meanwhile, I went to school last Monday. I was glad, the day I went was actually the last day of school year 2010. Dammit I swear... I don't know! I felt lucky & crying on the same. Remember the last time I said was regretted came to school days after PMR? Now, I took back my words. I love last day of school! Of cos I was expecting everyone was coming, too bad.. just some of us. Had some laughs with close friends, I'm just glad :')

Beside that, looking all those Form 5's. They had their Majlis Restu & preparations in their SPM, I could say I CAN CRY, RIGHT NOW SERIOUSLY, RIGHT NOW. I'm going to miss the seniors. Period.

In the other words, how I wish I could STAY. The moment where I fuck off most of the students in my class, get nervous when the teachers came in w unfinished homework, doing revisions before PMR, counting days to the war, looking foward days after PMR, get mad, laughing our ass off & oh oh oh not forget everyday meeting = toilet! LOL. And yes, canteen foods, I love Mondays where they served Mihun Soup while others prefer Tomyam :') And ....

I wish it could stay.

I Dowwan This To Be Rolled

2010-11-14T14:50:00.000+08:00

Everything's kinda f*cked up.

Will be back later sweets.

Time Flies So Fast

2010-11-10T00:51:00.002+08:00

TIME WHY YOU NO STOP?
Mostly everyone managed to get themselves F4 textbooks yesterday, I didn't come so that means I'll be definitely gonna deal with SPBT issues next year. Definitely. First, the teacher's going to give some lectures. Second, it take months to get the textbooks. Third, gonna get books with lot of drawings in it.

TIME WHY YOU NO STOP?
I'll be sixteen in three months from now.. and I feel old & big. I am not proud, either looking to be grow. I wanna be a baby, so everyone could play with me! Without thinking what's going to be next and after, just have fun all way :-)

TIME WHY YOU NO STOP?
School's coming to end. Which mean, tears will be flowing. I'll be definitely miss those friends who is getting into asrama soon, shifting to another school & so on. Remember how hate I am with this school? But still, I tried to calm myself ibarat buang yang keruh, ambik yang jernih and this, THIS. I'm so gonna miss this. This year, last year and last two years. 3 YEARS in this school really made me turned to be a real person. Include that Hazeeq won't be here next year. God, how I'm gonna face this?! Frankly speaking, F5 this year is the best seniors I ever had in my life. I swear. They're so cool and so fun! Awww I feel like crying now.

TIME WHY YOU NO STOP? I love to be in this way :"(

Memories Always In My Mind

2010-11-09T23:43:00.001+08:00

So here's some pictures that I'm supposed to update right on the time, but yknow me, getting lazier each day. Those pictures are some moments my family went an outing w Mama Lin's family (one of Mak's best friend) , a party at Mrishaa's & outing to Petrosains.

World Will Stop & Turn To You Bro

2010-11-03T01:44:00.006+08:00

The only brother, Happy 19th Birthday Bro! Love you x

I've just calculated my brother's age, and I was totally startled that he's now nineteen. I remember those days where I'm in Form One while he was in senior stage. I could have been deadly lost without him who the one telling those dramas that happened in school. Mostly he won't say much. Rarely talk to him nowdays, he's so busy achieving his dreams

I could say everything's changing right now in this house. Everyone's growing. Everyone's earning money, looking whats the best and the worst. Everyone's looking life's afterward. Even myself will be turned 16 where its kinda effing shit, I have to start thinking about future in serious stage. Deeply, I really wanted the house to be normal, where shouting & crying over the fights. Sometimes I cry, because I have no one to talk with (I could be THAT lonely)

But how could I said like that, they won't left me for the reason they wanted to. I mean in purposely. Because everything's changing for future. I must say, now, I really understand.

I just promised to myself to get my normal bed as usual where I'm not supposed to sleep at 5 freaking am and waking up at 12. I feel so not healthy, my body is aching everywhere, blergh. Thought of attending Hazeeq's graduation today but it seems that the school is absolutely fcked up. They banned cameras/phones/videocamera which was something unacceptable. How could you do that on their last grade in highschool? Serious, this is really sad. They can't even get the chance to take a picture in their graduation gown! In fact, not everyone can't come along. Shitz

Instead of cursing those stupid statement, I'd like to think of doing something productive. Which is NOTHING coming at my mind. Well, I'll see how it will goes then :)

You Dont Have To Come Too Fast

2010-11-02T03:27:00.002+08:00

(Krispy Creme - around end of the year '09)

You had definitely no idea how much I dowwan November how to come as fast as this. There's so much things in my head

Hazeeq's taking SPM in 21 days. Apparently there's no shoulder to cry on :'( But what to do, it's only a month. I know I can go through although I'll be missing him so bad.

PMR results. Shoot. You have no idea how much I'm worried + little bit excited to hear the score. Whatever happened, I know I did my best aite. Did I told you I dreamed about my results for three times? Yes, THREE TIMES and with DIFFERENT results. Scary shitz

Talking about result, of cos I'm thinking about which stream I'm taking next year. How I wish someone could help me in this. But after asking some individual, it would be better if I decide it by my own. My future, my goal, I dowwan people to decide it! But again, I'm just scared I'm taking the wrong road. That's the point :( Sad abit.

I would like to transfer another school, seriously. This aint joke.

I have like 5 days to complete Buku Wira Al*m 2 and what I did? Absolutely nothing. I feel like throwing the book into dustbin. Please. Someone. Show. Me. How. To. Do?!

After all, November comes. I feel like the freedom days are getting to end. Oh shit right. I wanna have some fun. Please.

So I had so much fun on last weekend. Managed to get myself a ring & long beach dress in freaking RM50. Tempted, I wanna go there again! *sad face nonstop* Then had my only Chocolate Fountain with family on the next day. Gotta do that again with my girls one day ;-) And of cossss Rushdan & others. Ok

Since I'm so not looking November, I guess the God really shows his power on the first day of Nov. I'm having another conjecture where my adorable cat, Carl is missing. I've no idea where he's missing/running away. Hope he will come back soon, oh God. Please pray for me, he will come back right? Mhmmm.

Hazeeq picked me up around 5pm. Went to DPuncak in the evening, celebrated Zafi & Hani's anni for the 4th. Happy Anniversary lovebirds! Looked up for Carl somewhere, but still couldn't find him. Yknow, deep in my heart I believe that he'll come back one day. I really should stop worry and believe on what I believed aite?

Ok wait ............. Its 3:18AM and I heard some sounds. Ok takut jap

Forced In The Cage Of The Zoo

2010-10-29T00:05:00.003+08:00

Okay I WILL NEVER GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN, regretted :s The story started when one of my teacher texted me and asked me to go to school today. Honestly it's more to force and so yep I went to school today. The good part is, I meet a few of my friends, miss them so much. The worst part ever is, the teacher wanted to meet friends & me for a kind of short meeting. It's my school thing, Wira Alam thingy. No need to know lah. Everyone's so wondered what's happening till the teacher texted everyone to come school. Well, of cos we were expecting it was something important, otherwise the teacher won't text us.

So.. urm he started to say about a camp. He asked all of us to go there and get experience. Ok good point (since I've nothing left to do). Then he talked about the tasks that had been given. Ok.... still good point. Then he asked us to pass up all the tasks by 8th of Nov which means 9 TASKS IN A FREAKING WEEK. I'm dead I'm deaaaaaad meat. Right, its true that there's not much time left and it is also true that I don't know to freaking do this tasks!

Then the meeting ended in 5 minutes? Blergh, force to come to school for a five minutes talk? So frustrating. That after that till the bell ring for the school end, I did nothing. After all I had through today, I'd rather stay home.

Not In Purpose Anyway

2010-10-27T02:14:00.000+08:00

I admit 44 mins ago, I determined myself to start posting back but as usual, I always ended up with something else. Done watching Gossip Girl S4 Episode 6, done exiting Facebook and trying to chill down :)

Life has been good lately. Like I said you won't see me anymore at school, dude it was a joke but yes it is literally happened right now. I SKIPPED SCHOOL like I don't know how many days but I had fun. Don't bother anymore heh but missing my friends though one the same time. Thought of grab a day for attending school and having fun with them. Before that, I gotta arranged my bed time. Sleep at 2, wake up at 11 is BULL SHIT I tell yeah.

Remember that I stated that I had list Things To Do After PMR? Only 2 over 10 are accomplished. Just realized that most of the things are suppose to do with Hazeeq but sadly he's having SPM in 30 more days. So like yeah, I don't dare drag him do to all these stuffs because I will ended it will guiltiness.

Most of my friends went for a work for money & experience. I don't do work. First, I am lazy. Secondly, asking a approval from my parent must be definitely a big no. Well, I know em so well. Honestly, I'm not taking that as a serious matter though because instead of doing work, I feel like doing.. yknow, something useful. Charity is the main thing in my head. Baking was done, I need to sharpen my skills in baking though. Photography, still working on it. And now, I feel like download movies and put them on dvds, and rent for anyone. Well I dont know, still looking for something new :/ Any ideas?

Productive Or Unproductive?

2010-10-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

I've been doing gooooooooood so far. So dying that Asrama-rians & my friends come back over here and lets do some come-back party or whatsoever. God, please make it :( I'm obviously missing them so hardly, oh god okay we all of cos have err some conspiracy between us but dude who cares, thats how life have been rolling around, its always been like that. I do still love my friends! Hep :B

I'm going to school tomorrow..... I know. I wasn't suppose to go to school but hah its not the deal that I will stay at school for like 6 hours, I'm going to Putrajaya instead! It's under Pencinta Alam club, I'll be watching my friend's band, they're playing some songs using recycle stuffs. Dude that was like so interesting, so excited. Well I was suppose to join the band but I cannot stand with the practices everyday, so lazy. Nway, good luck to those EDC members.

Wait, wait till I post something productive. OK?

Another Habits Come Along

2010-10-19T01:38:00.000+08:00

School is full with boredom. I honestly got nothing fun to deal with, today got ping pong tournament then bowling on the following days. They separated boys and girls, like come on lah? As usual, it always been like that. I will be the first person ever raise my hand up for PS2 or Wii challenges, as if they're doing that at school, for sure. Overall everything is boring. Nothing's up. Mates are still in "their" world, epic. Done with sent over fourteen textbooks. You aint see me anymore at school.

Honestly I couldn't belived how PMR could change a person into another, but I think I was wrong. PMR is completely change us into something....tragic. I don't have the word. Part of me, I do feel like studying, I feel like having tuition in advance for SPM. Okay nais, this is real tragic...

By the way, I NEED TO GO SHOPPING. Get an ice cream. And of cos do something! I don't dare to school anymore la. But what to do, my close friends are going to school every single day. God. No idea what they're doing there. Hazeeq is having SPM, other friends also having their finals. Apparently I don't care if I have to do everything by my own, I will do. But idts I could survive when it's eating time. Awwh. No matter what I have to wait *sigh heavily*

Freedom? As in, freedom?

2010-10-16T02:22:00.000+08:00

Done with How-To-Bake-Muffins

Same goes to, done with How-To-Do-Lasagna

So.. what's next? Hehe keep waiting. I'm really using my after PMR days with foods I guess? LOL I hope its a good thing then. Wonder what to do next. Bread? Orr mhmm brownies? I don't know D: